the here + now

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy John 10:10a Marriage is difficult. Marriage is beautiful. Sometimes you wonder how you ended up together. You wonder how you lived without him for so long. Some days it's as simple and breathing. Other days it's like chewing, swallowing and digesting nails. Marriage is sacred. Yet thrown away so easily. It's challenged, stretched and impossible. I didn't want to write this post. I didn't want to. But the words kept coming to mind.  Over. And over. And over. The past few months I've seen this beautiful, challenging thing we call marriage to be killed and destroyed.  To be torn apart while children are left carrying the baggage. I've been there. I wanted to leave. I was dying to leave. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't look at him. Thankfully God and my husband wasn't letting go. God can repair.  God can heal. God can make our mess into a be...

Sometimes I feel lost on this little space. Lost. What am I even saying? More lost. And sometimes embarrassed.  But someone told me to just "keep writing" So "keep writing" I will. Christmas was beautiful. And magical. And perfect. This year we decided absolutely no traveling on Christmas day.  We had talked about it in the past and last year we were finally done.  Christmas Eve we went over to my husband's grandparents. Their beautiful tree. Addie Boo Bear and me {Yes I wore my beautiful  SheDoesJustice  Wintery scarf} Boo opening her new Elmo. She was so excited to see it, even though we had to force her to sit and open gifts. Olivia with her huge doodle pad from her Uncle Steffen and Aunt Sierra. This boy received LOTS of legos for Christmas. Like seriously. SO.MUCH. And this one of the toddler capturing a cupcake After a lovely time there with family. Food. Love. Conversatio...

Merry Christmas from our family to yours I pray you have a wonderful Christmas. That you can really reflect on THE gift God gave us. That you can find the comfort, joy, peace that your weary heart is searching for. And I pray for the upcoming year. That you are greatly blessed and can greatly bless others. Enjoy this time. Enjoy your family. Your many blessings.

Originally I wasn't going to do a Friday Coffee Date today but my kids talked me into it. And a little Christmas message from two 6 year olds. Merry Christmas all you lovelies!!! Don't forget to link up with  Alyssa

As December hits we think about cooking and baking and parties and gifts and lights. But in the back lies those resolutions or goals we are trying to shove to the back burner until January first. That's how it usually is for me. Except this year. All month I've been thinking about them. How to make realistic resolutions. And instead of waiting around till after Christmas day or waiting until the first I'm sharing mine now.  **To start --- which tends to be one of everyone's resolutions. Lose weight. But seriously. Addie is 18 months old. There is no reason for this. So the goal is to lose at least 50 pounds in 2013.  I've done it before I CAN do it again! Thankfully I will never be pregnant again. **Blog - I'm not sure where I want my blog to be going except for I want to be more real, more raw, more honest, and make more of HIM. There will be a lot of talk about God, grace, family, love, foster care, possible adoption talk, forgiveness. **Mo...

Today I have a heavy heart. For Newtown. For the parents. And the grandparents. The siblings. Aunts, Uncles, cousins, babysitters, friends. Today my heart is heavy. Today I have a heavy heart. For our military. For their spouses. And their children. For those that are apart this season. Today I have a heavy heart. For my daughter. For her fears. The fact that I can pray for her. And pray and pray and pray. Today I have a heavy heart. For those dealing with inner demons. For the fear of talking to someone. The thoughts that consume their minds. Today I have a very heavy heart for the shooter's family. I didn't really think about it till this morning. I have a heavy heart for them. I can only imagine how they are processing this. Today, again, I have a heavy heart. Eventually it will fade away. But their memory, those "sweet little babies" {in my husband's words} they will never fade from their paren...

So much mourning going on today. The aftermath, the shock of what truly happened yesterday. So I thought for me it would be a good time to go through our year,  the many many blessings. All in pictures.