the here + now

I am a put on my big girl panties, put on the tough boots and get to work type gal.  No asking for favors or help or admitting I need a mommy time out. Recently I have been overwhelmed with the word REST. And not in the good way where I should feel overwhelmed by the freedom of it, but annoyed. I have been so sick of reading blogs about rest. Hearing my husband tell me that I need to be taking time for myself. For my best friend telling me I need to rest. And then, THEN. I'm part of the Thrive Moms social media team, so I of course, had to do the Hiding Place devotional. Truth be told I've done it, sat there looking at my journal page wanting to burn the book. Like literally, put fire to it & watch it burn. Because rest has felt so outside what is available. Because when I choose to take on two extras while I already have 3 biological children it meant that it was my choice to be here. That because I choose this, I had to buckle down and just work...

God does care about your past.  So often we here the phrase "God doesn't care about your past" goes along with "only God can judge me" But I believe He does care about my past and your past. He cares about the storms you've gone through. He cares about the shoes you've had to walk in. He cares about the pains you should have never had to deal with. He cares about the struggles. He cares because He can use anything that satan means for evil and make it good. He can take those pains and use them for His glory. He does care. He cares when you royally screw up your marriage and when you choose your body over your baby and when you have choose drugs over your family. He cares because He wants to use those trials for His good. To show His goodness in repairing your marriage, to give redemption to the baby now in heaven & to prove that He can heal an addicted individual . Don't hide from your past. Don't hide from your mistakes. God sees them ...

And this week it's actually on Monday. Today I want to share something my pastor shared at church yesterday that reminded me I'm not here to pick at the things people are doing wrong. But to love hard. Even when it's hard. To love hard to the non christians and the christians. You know how sometimes it's easier to love friends or strangers over family I think sometimes we can do that with our christian brothers & sisters. We forget that everyone is a sinner. That everyone has their big & little struggles.

About a year and a half ago Doug and I seriously started considering adoption and eventually we were lead to foster care. The day I read this verse is the day I first received an email back from a county worker, it may not seem like a big deal, but in my wondering, hopeful, scared heart, it was a big deal to me.  On June 24th we will celebrate 1 year of our foster care license. We have been in it just shy of 9 months. Two placements & two handfuls of respit. And day by day my heart breaks more & more. If you are a human being watch this video. You may not feel like God is leading you to orphan care and that's ok, God has something different for you, but just for knowledge watch this because you may be a teacher in a third grade class or a photographer attempting to do a shoot of mis-matched faces, an onlooker at the grocery while a 4 year old screams profanities you feel guilty if you even think them or the Sunday school teacher. ReMoved from HESCHLE ...

///Isaiah 46:4////

I'm starting something new on Monday. Verses to share. You can save them, you can print them off. The last one I made even made a perfect lockscreen for my phone. {this one does not work for a lockscreen, but maybe next week} For today's I am sharing my current favorite scripture regarding praying for my children. Feel free to email any of your favorite scriptures and I you might find them here one week.

My friend sent me this prayer thinking of my little Olivia who sometimes struggles at night with fear. I want to share it with all of you. Whether it's you or your children feel free to save it & print it off.