The word that has been annoying --- REST

I am a put on my big girl panties, put on the tough boots and get to work type gal. 

No asking for favors or help or admitting I need a mommy time out.

Recently I have been overwhelmed with the word

REST.

And not in the good way where I should feel overwhelmed by the freedom of it, but annoyed.

I have been so sick of reading blogs about rest.

Hearing my husband tell me that I need to be taking time for myself.

For my best friend telling me I need to rest.

And then, THEN. I'm part of the Thrive Moms social media team, so I of course, had to do the Hiding Place devotional. Truth be told I've done it, sat there looking at my journal page wanting to burn the book. Like literally, put fire to it & watch it burn.

Because rest has felt so outside what is available. Because when I choose to take on two extras while I already have 3 biological children it meant that it was my choice to be here. That because I choose this, I had to buckle down and just work harder. That I can't rest when I am so behind even in my daily cleaning. That my head constantly feels like it's going and I'm falling behind. 

"KATIE YOU ARE SO BEHIND, you do not get to rest, you need to work."

I tried finding rest in Him.

And became frustrated.

Every time I tried quiet devotion time somebody woke up or needed me.

And I started getting angry.

Rest just isn't for me, not in this season.

But then on Friday a wonderful thing happened.

I drove the kids to school with the windows down. I started to pray. REST.

I sat outside with an iced coffee just listening to the sounds of our neighborhood, 

praying for the tough days ahead. REST.

And then I saw that bible verse above. It hangs right by our front door.

It hit me.

I cannot flourish in this state I have been living.

I have not been living in freedom & joy & peace.

I have been living in the "should do's" & the "should be's"

Rest is for me.

It's for you too.

God wants those precious moments with us.

We NEED them.