the here + now

These are in no particular order, just tips I'm learning, share yours!! 1. Take lots of deep breaths 2. When a child asks to help, stop being so controlling & just say YES, it doesn't matter how it gets just done just that it does get done.  3. Kiss your husband & make sure you two are having sex. You need it & so does he. Sometimes you just gotta force yourself to, you'll be happier. 4. Drink lots of coffee because that's my answer for everything 5. Buy dry shampoo. Motherhood often means showers are towards the end of the list 6. Take walks, go play outside, toss a ball, roll in the grass. Fresh air does amazing things for moods of all ages. 7. Let go of comparisons 8. It's ok to order pizza more than once a week 9. Have family over & don't stress because your floor hasn't been mopped in over a week (and yes I totally screenshot this from snapchat, thanks Layna!) 10. Make time for yourself, this is the ...

I want you to rest. To thrive in motherhood. To love fully. And to give yourself room to breathe. I will encourage to make space for yourself. For some self care. And allowing to be exactly who you are in motherhood and to stop comparisons. But I struggle allowing myself the same. I am the pull up my bootstraps & put on my big girl panties & whine & complain type. Instead of saying enough is enough I need rest. I need Jesus. I can't do it all. No I get prideful like I'm superwoman and I'm totally not. I can't understand why other women don't just push themselves harder to bleed out to love children who need a home. And then I took an Influence Class last night that Ellen taught and she talked about a spiritual gifts test. Of course I did it as soon as the class was over, because I have a mad love for serious & silly online quizzes, I mean buzzfeed, come on guys, I'm in love ;) My results, not surprised. I have taken several spiritual...

When we started talking to our family & friends about the possibility of becoming foster parents a question was always asked in regards to Olivia, Alex & Addison. "Why would you do that to your kids?" "How are you going to foster with your own kids?' "How do they feel about it" ///// To be honest, that first question was asked more than once and every time it's asked I have to keep my arm from releasing the full force I'm feeling inside. But the truth is foster care in so many aspects is not a positive thing. God did not design us to have our children taken & he did not design for siblings to be torn apart.  This is not His design, but it happens. A LOT. I tweeted out that today I was going to write about foster care because when you have been severely neglecting your blog you have to force yourself to sit & write.  Question : How do you help your bio littles understand that a placement can be short or...

It's been heavy. It's been mournful. Thinking of the events that took place and why. The extra emotions that make us feel all the feelings. But Sunday is coming. (And for us it's Saturday night) And I cannot help but be crying joyful for the lives that will change. That this story we go over every year isn't just a story. It's real & it changes lives. It sets people free. It redeems relationships. It shouts LOVE in the most major way. And I cannot wait tonight to celebrate with the new believers. To cry with them. It's too easy for people to look at a church building with negative feelings, but tonight & tomorrow morning there will be those people walking in, trying once more. Having shaky faith that maybe this time it will be different. Friends, let's show them the love. Let's wrap them up & let them hear without fear, without shame that they are loved. That He died for them. That forgiveness & freedom is for them.

God does care about your past.  So often we here the phrase "God doesn't care about your past" goes along with "only God can judge me" But I believe He does care about my past and your past. He cares about the storms you've gone through. He cares about the shoes you've had to walk in. He cares about the pains you should have never had to deal with. He cares about the struggles. He cares because He can use anything that satan means for evil and make it good. He can take those pains and use them for His glory. He does care. He cares when you royally screw up your marriage and when you choose your body over your baby and when you have choose drugs over your family. He cares because He wants to use those trials for His good. To show His goodness in repairing your marriage, to give redemption to the baby now in heaven & to prove that He can heal an addicted individual . Don't hide from your past. Don't hide from your mistakes. God sees them ...

At the beginning of the year the whole world, or at least that's how it feels, pick a word. A word they feel led to focus on. Two years ago my word was grace and last year my word was hope. This year I choose joy. I choose it because too often instead of looking at the joy in situations I would fold my arms, pout & sit in the negativity of a situation. I wasn't even trying to look for the joy. Finding joy in the every day can be much harder than can be expected, but He reminds me to find the joy & to live it boldly. :::Where I am being reminded to find joy::: When I have to drive back home to take that forgotten lunch box back to school. When washing dishes by hand because our dishwasher is still broke. Washing dishes by hand for a family of 7 can at times feel too overwhelming, but the silver lining is that it is a time I can slow down and really have a conversation with Jesus. When I'm in the car with our teen girl jamming to music that I have sworn off...

Blog land started becoming so much more beautiful when people really started sharing their stories. The storms they've walked through, the seasons they are in, the fears about the future. So much has been about sharing your story without fear. Sharing your story and ignore the naysayers. Share your story & others will so get where you are at or where you've been. But sometimes sharing the story you are currently living gets a little grey area. For me, most of my current story I cannot share. Because my story right now is so much their story. For two children I fell in love with the moment they showed up in that red car packed with their belongings. That everyday I fall more in love & everyday I have to remind myself and prepare my heart for the time when they step out our door.  Fostercare is many things, but sharing their story is not something for me to share. 

And this week it's actually on Monday. Today I want to share something my pastor shared at church yesterday that reminded me I'm not here to pick at the things people are doing wrong. But to love hard. Even when it's hard. To love hard to the non christians and the christians. You know how sometimes it's easier to love friends or strangers over family I think sometimes we can do that with our christian brothers & sisters. We forget that everyone is a sinner. That everyone has their big & little struggles.

Yes, I know it isn't Monday, it's a few days late but here's a little inspiration for your Thursday that just so happens to be called Refresh Monday. Just in case you forgot He loves you more than you could ever imagine. More than you love that cup of coffee or that little one with blonde curls. He loves you when you aborted that baby & when you told that white lie. He loves you when you feel like every day has failure written all over it. He loves you more than water on the earth. He loves you, He loves you, He loves you!! 

Every month I've been posting things that inspire me. Usually pictures of color & my kids & bible verses. Today I'm feeling lots of feels but I can't say what is inspiring me. I'm living right now in constant motion. Looking at my planner & calendar sometimes frightens me. Appointments, classes, deadlines visits, soccer & birthdays. To post photos that are currently inspire me just is beyond me right now. Instead I'll jump on the bandwagon and post a few goals. 1. Finally pick a paint color, guys, it's serious. Next month will be 2 years since we've been in this house. My main floor walls need some lovin 2. Keep dreaming with teen girl & help her get a plan going with where she wants to go 3. Love deeper & harder. Let Jesus in more. Lately I've let all the things that need done and the places to go rule the thoughts. My dishwasher recently broke (again) and I have found such beauty in the time where I can't escape time wit...

What I wanted to tweet "dear moms of 5 give me tips because I'm dying" But the truth is, it isn't the kids . It's not teen that has made my mothering grow and change. It isn't the twins that have adjusted more amazingly that I thought. It's not the toddlers that string toys in every inch of the main floor. It's the stress of appointments, and everyone on the team. It's people outside of our little circle. It's the knowing that my husband will be gone later this month for a week. It's the lies that are telling me that I am failing each and everyone of these children. It's the lies that I am not doing this well. That there are not enough hours in the day, nor enough energy running through my body. And that's where I'm at right now. I see God's hand in the journey to this exact place. I see the seeds of compassion and love and passion and grace He has gifted me with. I love each of these children deeply. When the day comes...