the here + now

2 Common issues with most children in foster care. 1. SLEEP  And all the foster mamas said Amen!!! Sleeping is very difficult for a lot of children in care the first few nights, weeks or months. It's a new place, a new bed, new dark.  It's will you still be here in the morning? Will you hurt me in the middle of the night? 2. Lying This is very common. There are many reasons for this. One big one is lack of trust. Do you think just because you love Jesus and you're "nice" that they're going to trust you? Nope, ain't (yes I just used that) going to happen. Children will lie out of fear of what will happen if they tell the truth. Will they be hurt? Will their bio parents get in trouble? There are many struggles you will run into. These two are very very very common and will need to be worked through. 

This morning I sat at the island, trying to catch up on blogs. Sometimes reading others words is healing. Sometimes you think "if I could formulate words a little better, I so could have written that post" which this morning was  this one  from (in)courage When I finished going through the posts that sparked my interest, I'm sorry, that's just the season I'm in. I am not longer able to read through all of my feed. I asked Olivia what I should write about because she was sitting at the island with me, in typical 7 year old fashion she said "me!"  That's my Olivia Katelyn.  She is a twin to that cutie beside her.  She will be 8, E I G H T, next month. She is so much like me that sometimes we bash heads. She is full of life. She goes through life by the beat of her own drum. She's imaginative & dreamy.  She is so girly. She loves pink & glitter & disney princesses.  She can go from happy to moody pre-pre-teen in about 5 seco...

It's been one year since we became licensed foster parents. One year ago that we were on a high to change the world. From the beginning of this journey God has given me a tenderness for birth parents. From the beginning I knew it would be hard. But our one year anniversary also brings on heartache & pain. Because one year ago, two little boys, who I will forever remember stepped foot into my home. Two little boys that were so abused it all had to come spilling out. One year ago, we went through the hardest 7 days of our lives. One year ago we experienced our first placement, our first experience with county & agency workers & our first disruption. Since then my heart broke. I said lots of no's because I was living in fear of going through the same thing again. But God used other foster parents to help bring me to healing. The truth is I will never forget those boys. I still have the fake flower they have me on my microwave. Whenever I think of them, my eyes still ...

What I have learned mothering a teen who is not mine: 1. Those tough things that you would grill your kids about easily, doesn't come so easily. It means a sit down talk that can be quite tense, but needs to be filled with love 2. If you ever plan on parenting a teen, biologically yours or brought to your heart, don't forget what it was like to be a teen. Now image being pulled from your home into an environment not your own.  3. Music. Oh gosh. It really just does get worse and worse. There's a time & a place for that music. Filling littles ears with those words are not ok, but when the littles aren't in the car, let them be in their world.  4. Speaking of cars, a car ride for a baby & toddlers is like instant nap, for teen girls it's instant real talk. It's odd. But so wonderful. 5. It's tough. Like super duper, I literally have no idea what I'm doing but I'm super duper trying. 6. Love. They really need it. The tough act, is th...

Pretend case so you know how it works from where we sit. //////// 1. A call is made to children services about --- let's go with possible abuse. 2. The person answering will determine if this needs immediate action, within the next 2 days or next week. 3. A worker goes to a home to assess what is going on. They can decide that the child or children need to have an emergency removal, work with the family unit is needed or they see no cause for concern. 4. Let's say emergency removal is needed. //// The worker explains why the child (or children) is being removed.  5. The parent has the option to pack up things for them, this often happens in the form of a trash bag. 6. The child or children are taken to the children services office. 7. Emails and calls are made 8. Our agency calls us with referral. The worker will explain what county the child is from, their age, situation and any known medical & behavioral issues. 9. At that point the ball is in our court to say...

I'm in a season where it is hard to abide.  I'm still trying to figure out this life with a teen thing. And let me tell you, it's no walk in the park.  Every day I feel like I'm failing. Yes, we have our good days & our really really good days. But the drop always follows.  And every time the drop just blows up the bubble in my face. We have appointments & visits & summer break happenings & birthdays & emotions. Lots of emotions.  Some days instead of abiding in Jesus  I simply run away. It might be into my own fears, the 90's station on Pandora or a pile of laundry. Instead of staying with Him through it all, I run. Why? Couldn't tell you. Maybe because I'm scared what He'll ask me to do. Or I don't really believe He is walking us through this season.  The truths I know: He loves me, even when my heart wanders. He is with me. Waiting. Watching me run in circles, watching me try and do it on my own & once I...

Summer 2014 has started off so lovely. Both Alex & Liv have finally learned to ride their bikes without training wheels within 2 days. We have gone swimming, played past dark. Have the dreaded bug bites. Been sunkissed. The freckles have come out in full force as they do every summer. Before school let out I wanted this summer to be fun. I have day I have to remind me that summer is for fun, but mostly making the choice to have fun is making this summer already better than any other summer.  My summer bucket list:  -Survive June. We have a lot of birthdays in June. 6 to be exact.  -Not get lobster fried. It seems to happen every year, you know the burn where you feel like you can't move or sleep or breath.  -That no one dies. But seriously, we plan on going on lots of bike rides, staying out in the dark summer nights and going swimming. That's my list. Those are the things. Everything else are bonuses. 

Welcome to our lives Dave Ramsey! Money was never our stressor point, the thing that made us argue the most. Because we never really talked about it. We would discuss a budget and think we were on one. We really weren't. Over the past year we've talked about trying this Dave Ramsey plan and never dived in. Our friends, Justin & Heather, have been on this plan and have knocked out a lot of debt. They gifted us with some truth filled words & this book. It sat on a table for a few months and then Douglas decided we're doing it. We read the book together and decided starting June 1st we were making these changes. We'll also be taking the Financial Peace University class at church that starts later this month! We learned that budgeting isn't a once a year thing --- but a monthly budget & sometimes even more. We have learned how childish we have been. We have learned how to get out of debt, the steps. We are at the very beginning, building our eme...

At the beginning of the year God was calling me to joy. I lived a life of frustration and a bad attitude often. Life isn't always rainbows & butterflies, but my hope is in Jesus, not in the earthly struggles.  I started my journey with joy. It has been hard. Really hard. At times I've thought I will just always be that person that oozes of frustration, a negative attitude & tension.  Today I took Doug to Michel Tire to pick up the second new tire in a little over a week. (Sidenote: I'm not sure if it's all Michel Tires or just this one we went to, but they have the best service we've ever had in a tire store!!) After we got the tire, we headed over to the Speedway the Probe was at. Doug went to put the tire on and the jack somehow moved and bent in the part of the car where it was. Next we had to find the jack in the Denali, thank heavens for youtube, seriously though! Then we (by we I mean Doug did it & I watched) put the other jack under t...