the here + now

When I workout I need a good loud beat & to tune out the world. My favorite is running. I feel no responsibility to life around me. I can just focus on the good I need to do for my body, physically & spiritually. But the pitful, filling my "station" & ears with words not of Jesus. Music has always been a thing for me. It can lift me & point me to Jesus. Or fill me with yuckiness & make me wish I could disappear from my current life. If you struggle to, I want to share some words from God "My beloved, this is not for you. I have blessed some pretty awesome people with the ability to make music that is full of Me" Ok those words didn't audibly come, just you know, the way God speaks to my heart.  Here is the playlist I have started. No booty shaking, no shots of poison, but upbeat music that keeps your heart pointed to Jesus And please share some of your favorites

We foster a teen mom. In order to get to this point God had to do a work in my heart. He had to bring me to a point of compassion. Then he placed an opportunity in front of me. I had the choice to say no or say "YES God" Last Thursday we received confirmation of the question that has been lingering....will she age out. I knew that was highly likely, but like every other case, things can change quickly, at anytime, with no warning. But things can also keep going as they are. In my fear I began googling.  "Foster teen aging out" "How to find a mentor for foster teen aging out" Let me tell you, these do not give very warm readings.  Instead you read facts like: *12-30% will become homeless *40-60% will not finish high school *25-55% are unemployed *18-26% incarcerated Not what a mama heart wants to read as she is trying how to best spend the next year. ONE year. That's all I've got. One year to prepare her. One year to do my best ...

We are starting our 3rd budget, the Dave Ramsey way.  What I have learned so far: 1. Budgeting is not a quick thing. The first month we did the whole budget + allocating where the money is coming from took us 3 hours and then several "budgeting meetings" throughout the month. Last month it took about 2 hours.  What budgeting actually looks like for us:      -We have a list of things we need to make sure we budget:       birthdays, special events, things needed, household fixes      -We have a budget list for the month that we fill in all our       expenses starting first with tithing.       -We use a zero base budgeting. You need about $100 buffer in       your account, but then from there on, all the money coming in       goes somewhere while you're paying off debt.      -Then we allocate the money. We know how much need...

I was scrolling through my ig feed when I saw a picture. It was of a mom. Her little bubbly toddler sitting by her feet as she showed off her hard work, which equaled a teeny tiny waist & washboard abs. {by the way, congrats mama} As I sat there with jealousy bubbling up, I saw the first comment "you can have it all" It got me to thinking what does that even mean? Why does it seem like we strive so hard to get there? Does it, can it apply to me? And do I even want it? Because having it all seems like a lot too much. I can't expect to have an "have it all" home when we have 5 children in the home. I can't expect to have an "have it all" waist when I've always carried extra weight & I love food I can't expect to have an "have it all" marriage because marriage is about a good work & a good work doesn't always look so pretty I can't expect to have an "have it all" money makin job because right not...

God has called you and you have chosen to say yes. First CONGRATS & second, I'm sending you a virtual hug. The deep hug of understanding. This road is not easy. There are days of deep heartache, but there are also days where God says "this is why you're in this, why I have chosen you & why you are and will continue to struggle with them through this season" A few things you might want to know: 1. The waiting can seem endless. Unexplained. Weird. But the waiting is not in vain. 2. When you finally say yes, if you happen to have honeymooning, enjoy it, but know when it ends it's going to feel like a Thor type hammer smacking you in the face. 3. Imagine your child (if you are already a parent) going into foster care. I don't know about you, but that helps, because I can only imagine the way my kids would act if they were thrown into the world of foster care. 4. When you have a child or children there will be times where you feel like you a...

"Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you. Jesus Christ & the American soldier. One died for your soul and the other died for your freedom" Our 4th of July was lovely. We spent the day at home and then in the evening we went to our friend's house to enjoy food, rest & corn hole.  Then we came home and watched fireworks from our house. One of the best things about living in small town USA is all the fireworks people set off, they were beautiful & spectacular. 

"Mom I hurt Alex and said I was sorry" "Ok" "He is still mad at me and won't say 'it's ok'" "He doesn't have to, you said something to hurt his feelings. I'm glad you said sorry, but your words were still said and they still hurt" I think we can all learn something here. In big {imaginative} bold letters, I learned here I don't like when people say "it's ok" after they have been hurt & I don't like that our children are taught to say it. It's not ok. Instead lets teach our children the weight of words & that forgiveness is a part of relationships.  Hitting still hurts. Words can hurt. And linger. For far longer than the physical pain lasts.  "The tongue has the power of life and death...." Proverbs 18:21