the here + now

---Go pee every chance you get. For me I pee, a lot, more than the average pregnant woman. It's bad. But I've learned that I can take the opportunity to pee or suffer later. ---I need time with Jesus. My flesh has a major attitude and is very selfish. It leaks out all over the place when I'm not with Him. ---People hurt. They just do. People who love Jesus. People who hate Jesus. People who have no opinion on Jesus. People hurt. I have to remind myself to be gentle to others and myself. ---Budgeting is important. Sometimes it's hard being an adult. Budgeting takes time & effort. But is so necessary. ---Dealing with depression is a thing for me. But now I know it's often an attack on my soul & talking to others is helpful. ---Being married isn't about making me happy. It's about us becoming holy. It's about us raising little warriors together . ---Church isn't necessary on your walk. It's not. But I can't imagine doing life...

I woke up. It was quiet. He wasn't in the bed with me. It felt heavily empty. The house felt so quiet. Except for the boy downstairs on his galaxy. I opened the card he left for me. He told me to wait until mother's day & so I did. I cried my eyes out. The day just isn't the same without him. These beauties are gifted to me. I adore them but they also drive me crazy. I feel spoiled being their mama & overly exhausted being their mama.  But the day was just not the same without their daddy. And God was at work. I could have sat there feeling like I spoiled brat or used the brain & heart God gave me. So while I felt in a haze all day, I listened. God opened my eyes to the life of a single mama. I grew up the daughter of a single mama most of my life. But never being a single mama, I can't really understand. Yesterday, I got the tiniest glimpse. Special days don't mean breakfast in bed, they mean making breakfast ...