the here + now

{image} I saw this on Pinterest months ago and felt convicted to stop striving for them. That is real realness it is not in my control whether they choose Jesus or not, but it is in my control on how I live. It's hard to know you just have to let that go. But also releasing knowing it's not in my control. Knowing I just need to be me, worship Jesus the way I do and continue praying, reading & seeking Him. 

For the momma who feels a bit alone. Like the world may be crashing in around her. You are not alone. I've had my days, weeks, months. Where it all seems just too much. If you feel like this I highly encourage you to seek His truth, email me at katiejaneshannon@gmail.com and I will pray for you and then get your cute butt over to  Thrive Moms  or  Life-Edited  and have your momma heart filled. 

 Some days are just rough.  You weren't very graceful with your littles. You forgot to clean everything on your to-do list. You spoke disrespectfully to your husband. You have had an ongoing throbbing headache. You got offended by a friend or that person who pretends to be your friend. Know His grace is FOR you. He is for you. The fairly easy days and the terrible no good days. ....for His compassions never fail; they are new every morning.... Lamentations 3:22-23 {found image  here }                                                                                                              

Even when it's 30 degrees being a football mom it's so much fun. (My guy is #26 up there.) With extra stuff --- you're just going to have to figure out what works for you. When it's ok to say yes and when you need to say no.  You're NOT doing it wrong if you do nothing for years upon years. You're NOT doing it wrong if you start activities at 6 months old. You're NOT doing it wrong if your children are involved in several activities. You set the feel for you family. If you feel it's too much, then it's probably too much. If you and your man and your littles enjoy it, immerse yourself in it and enjoy every little step. The 90 degree bee filled game to the 30 degree butt gone numb game. 

We go to a church that is part of a church. It's a satellite church in a movie theater. Who would have thought this girl would do that. When I was younger, church was in a church building and that's where it stayed. Amen for a God at work?! Where we go it's small, it's intimate and even when you don't know names & stories you know faces. Or in this case his voice. There is a man at our church, he's a grandpa. He has such a sweet face and is kind to everyone, plus he thinks my girl's curls rule the world. But my absolute favorite thing about this man is when he worships. He has a beautiful voice but he's always a beat or two behind. For some reason I love it. I wasn't sure why, but the more I stood a few rows behind the more God started working in my heart.  1. He worships without care. He doesn't care that he's behind, it's him + Jesus.  2. I so get this with motherhood. So often in life, but especially in motherhood, I always...

{image found via pinterest} Mommas can we think on this today? To let go of the definition of success in society. To know that God's plans far outweigh anything the school, your church, the grandparents or even you have planned for your littles. Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born i set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.  Jeremiah 1:5

Ewww.. Gross topic, huh? You feel me? Enter into motherhood = enter into a season or seasons of tough times in the world of friendship. My journey is not fun. When I got pregnant I basically became an alien to ignore. Once I had the twins I was "too busy" to make time for friends & in a way it's so true. I didn't have time or energy for drama and being the one to give give give . That terrible thinking I carried around for a long time. I eventually started trying. The trying too hard to be just left with a bruised heart.  And then she came. We had friends that moved in with us between their apartment lease & moving into their first house. I was at a point where I finally gave up. (My husband makes friends so easily and just seems to be awesome at actually keeping up with friends. I mean, he still talks to people from college. Me however always just seems to be not needed and then left out in the cold, obviously figuratively, as I have a warm home.) ...

Yes I'm behind. Sunday was a filled day and I just didn't have time. Monday I just didn't feel like it. Instead of being days behind {because that would just drive me crazy} I'm going to do a triple post. What shall I talk about in this post, well the three littles that made me momma of course. I have been very blessed. I have been pregnant with three & birthed three, two came out on the same day just minutes apart. Olivia came into this world first. While I was pregnant she was the mover, Alex pretty much stayed in the same area, high, almost crushing my will to breath. But her, all over the place. When she was born, she came into the world so her. She cried when she was good and ready to cry and that is just how this girl is. She will not do anything until she is good and ready to do it but when she does watch out. She is sensitive, a bit of a drama queen, she loves God deeply, she is very girly but she is happiest outdoors with paper and whate...

  When I was younger I wanted to be a teacher or a cosmetologist or a nanny or a vet tech... I had big ideas. They were always changing. And technically it has never changed. I come up with an idea and it fizzles. One idea that never fizzled was motherhood. I was a babysitter and loved kids. Kids always had a way of making the terrible go away just by their pure joy. And I'm here. I am living that dream. I have three beautiful babies and occasionally other children whom I didn't birth to care for. But does that mean a new dream fizzles? For years I think about it and push it away because I can't. How in the world am I suppose to dream? I don't have time for dreaming. There are days I allow the lie that I actually don't have any dreams to fill me. But that just makes me feel even more empty. Can a woman who is a wife, mother, foster mom, cook, cleaner, not very smart woman have a dream that involves college? {this is not the time for you to tell me I...

From early on Douglas & I knew we wanted books to be a big part in our kid's lives. Books can be silly, and give you big dreams, take you to place you'll never go, be a princess or a super hero. Books help you learn about the world & grow your imagination. But let's get a bit honest sometimes I just don't want to read. Not because I don't want my children to love books or that I don't want to spend time with my littles but I am exhausted. And some children's books are overly long. We have two huge tubs full of books, and I have discovered to have favorites of their favorites because then we all win.  Up above are some of all our favorites.  I Love You Through and Through  -- This is Addie's favorite book. It's so sweet and catchy. She even knows just by looking at the page the words. One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish  -- Dr. Suess, seriously his books are just great for kids, so goofy. But also great for sleepy mommas becaus...

Yes, that is right I am combining a 31 days post with my Influence recap. You can read more here  and  here Originally when I came home I planned to write out this beautiful post tying all the things together, being able to accurately explain all the Influence Conference offered me. The way the Lord found me low and raised my up. How I went to the conference expecting to come back with renewed mothering skills and magically become super wife. The truth is those two things did not happen. At all. Actually when I came back crying all the tears had drained me. A lot. I wanted to jump back into the motherhood game rejuvenated ready to conquer all the hard things. I kept reminding myself a phrase I learned there And I kinda settled there, giving bits of grace but feeling like I should be doing. Not resting in this. But this is exactly where some growth has come. Learning to actually need Him more than that third cup of coffee. Learning. As in I am still so far fro...

I know my house will never be perfect, we live in it. I have a weird organized chaos thing that works for us. We have three children and a dog. Most days I just deal with it, it's life. But the days leading up to my dad arriving are days that feel like a beat down of all that's wrong with my home. My dad is a clean freak. And it works for him because his time of having children living with him, especially small children, is limited to very few years. One day when I was younger he made a comment about a stay at home moms house being disastrous and he thought is was lazy because it should be immaculate because she stays home. Let me tell you those words have stuck. He says it because on the subject of stay at home mom of young children he just has no idea. And even though I know the truth, the slime from that single lie, straight from the enemy eats at my core. That lie beats me down to a pulp. It reminds me of the dust in that corner of the powder room, the walls th...

Every little choice you make in parenting is judged by someone else. If you breastfeed or formula feed.  If you co-sleep or straight to the crib sleep. Rear face till two or switch when you feel is right. All organic or McDonlads... No matter what we choose we are judged. And it can be very harshly. Feeling very strongly about a certain topic can come out in a very hurtful way. Your best friend will have an opinion, your grandma, the aunt you see three times a year, the lady down the street. EVERYONE and their uncle have an opinion.  So where do we go. I tend to put my guards up, ready to attack. I make my choices and I want others to just say, ok I support that but 90% of the time someone thinks their choice would be better.  So where does that take me? To be that 10%, I want to be the 10% that supports mothers, encourages with realness. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for BUILDING OTHERS UP according to T...

It's easy for parents to fall into a very vain thinking for their children. In the way they act or dress, the sports the play and the children they are 'allowed' to play with. It can get pretty yucky. I knew early on I had to be careful with those thoughts, I may not be very good at taking thoughts captive, but I have been blessed to be able to take care of the thoughts regarding my children and competition with other children.  I started thinking upon what is really important and what I want my children to never forget. You know those words a mom or dad or grandparent or babysitter said that always stuck with you because they said them so often, whether life giving or life sucking.  These are the two words I went with.  Why? Because as a follower of Jesus, I want to teach my children about how Jesus treated people, how He treats us. And that is LOVE . I talk often about loving others even when they are not being loving towards us. It is hard for anyone ...

Most awesomely horrible thumbtail possibly ever . If you actually watch this whole thing, we applaud you!!

I wasn't planning on writing today. I usually do my writing the night before and last night I was just miserable. I felt no inspiration and my week has been exhausting inside my own hell, which happens to be my head and my thoughts. This week, every day has felt like defeat. I began to think who am I to write on motherhood? I am severely wrecking my children {most likely}  The truth, yep I'm a mess. But there's grace. Even from my children. I will mess them up somehow. There's no way to get around it. I have no helpful tips today on how to make your life less chaotic, or awesome poetic words from me or someone else, but I do want you to know, even in all the messiness, when all you see is defeat, YOU ARE LOVED. You are loved by God. And your children adore you, never doubt that.

Internet + Motherhood can turn us into scary creatures. The feelings of inadequacy when we compare our parties to the "pinterest parties", when we compare our clothing to a fashion blogger or our home to someone who make way more than we make. The internet can become a place of mental torture. I know I've done it bad, especially with bloggers.  How I'm not christian enough, or well spoken enough, how my closet is severely lacking what I "should" be wearing, my home isn't as put together, my blah blah blah...not enough....more blah blah blah. And then enters a website you need to check out THRIVE MOMS Why? Because it's real moms, real messes, real love, real grace. It's just REAL. If you subscribe to the newsletter, you will receive one every week in your email. This newsletter is not one telling you what you're not going "good enough" & how you should do better -- no it's not that. What is it --- a newsletter th...

Today I don't want to share my words, today I want to share these words. These words may be coming out of a man's mouth but know the heart of it all comes from the One who loves YOU wholly. Even if you have watched it 10 times, watch it again. If you haven't watched it watch. And again. And again. Be empowered. This is who you are. It's not about being better, but being more needy of Jesus (an awesome new concept I learned at Influence)  If you are struggling today, He loves you. He sees you. He wants conversation with you.  Motherhood can make us feel lost. Needed yet invisible. But momma He sees you. He sees you when you rise needing that first cup of coffee, holding you after you lose your temper with one of your children. He sees you when you cry because you feel like this marriage keeps getting more confusing. He sees you when that ministry you have poured your heart into seems to be going nowhere.  He sees you as you are, right in this moment, and h...

"I couldn't handle twins" "How do you do it?" "Boy, you have your hands full" If I had a dollar for every time I heard one of these comments or the such you betta believe I'd be spending every day at Hobby Lobby buying all the things.  When I first started being asked how I could handle twins my reaction was always I don't have a choice. This is what God gave me, it's what I do.  Which lead into a bit of cockiness. All in all I handled twin motherhood well in their first year  well. I took them every where, I had it all under control. Truth is underneath it all I was drowning. I never had time to do my hair, nor the energy. I took the compliments and wore them as my saving grace. I became the women who was disgusted by mothers with one child complaining. I wanted to whack them with whatever I could. All I could think was they had no idea.  And then I got pregnant again with our Addie Boo. God started working. I remembered ...

Know this from the beginning this does not happen every night. There are a few things I like to do every night, not because I'm looking for some sort of perfection for the angels in middle of the night, but because when morning comes my day is welcomed with a sort of peace I need. My friend  Amber  encouraged me to start this routine. I think if you choose to start your own routine, you need to find what works for you and what helps your morning run smoother. - Clean the kitchen. No I don't sweep and mop, but I clean the counters and most importantly I clean the sink. If you don't ever start a morning routine that is perfectly fine, but try cleaning the sink every night and see how it feels in the morning. Life changing. I tell ya.  - Load & run dishwasher . Obviously the run part doesn't always happen, because I'm not going to run a less than full dishwasher, I have to run it enough already.  - Pick up the toys. I get all the toys picked up...

Let's get honest some days motherhood just sucks. The endless messes, the hand printed sliding door, the crayon stained walls, the whining, the dishes, the mud tracked in from football cleats, a forgotten tooth under the pillow, hearing "mom, momma, mommy" a zillion times a day. It can be overwhelming. I have to remind myself one day I'll miss this, but sometimes I just want a pause button. Sometimes I just want to be able to sit and read all day long with a never-ending cup of coffee or spiced orange tea.  But the truth is I miss this when they are gone an hour. I miss this when the older two are at school and the house feels so quiet with just Addie. Some days I don't even want to clean the sliding door, because their little fingerprints mean life. And on the days that are hard and I feel like there is no way any other person on the planet is as tired as I am I find comfort in this little big promise

"Sorry Liv we're going to be a few minutes late." "It's ok mom, we're always a few minutes late." When did this happen. I used to be such an on time person that I would easily show up to events, appointments, family dinners 30 minutes early. Not joking. Running late stresses me out. Even if I think I'm going to be running late. When the Alex & Olivia were toddlers I was so "good" at being prepared and never arriving late. In most cases that seems awesome. People would question how I did it.  The truth I never said, I stress myself, my children and my husband out. I would say very hurtful words towards my husband if he caused me to be late anywhere. I'd love to tell you that everything has changed. That I have channeled my inner  Melody Joy  and can roll with the punches with a smile on my face but the truth is.... Things have changed. I only get mad when other people run late some of the time. I myself can arri...