the here + now

Gosh, I can't believe it's Friday already. It's been a learning week for me which is always hard but good. Will I be joining YOU for a real coffee date in 4 weeks?

From the time I was (3 weeks before) 21 I have been a twin mommy. I have never had the life of just one baby/toddler/kid. Because of this I have put pretty much all a lot of who I am, my worth in being a twin mom. Except I didn't really realize that until this past week. They are big ole first graders now, which means full day school. Originally I thought things like "now I have no excuses not to exercise", "look how much one on one time I'll be soaking up with Addison" and "I am going to get so much cleaning done" ....Only to find out. Something was wrong. I felt depressed and off. Things just didn't feel right. And when Alex & Liv got home I would feel just frustrated. This doesn't make sense.  But it hit me --- I have put so much of my worth in who I am in being a twin mom. Because being a mom is a lot of work, being a twin mom {IS THE BEST THING EVER} is double the work. I put too much into that. Even when they were babies/todd...

I'm linking up with  Ashley  and  Annie  for this month's   G I R L B E H I N D T H E B L O G This one is all about travel All 3 of my littles joined in this time

25 Things you may or may not know about me 1. I was born in Mountain Home, Idaho. My dad was in the airforce. 2. I was born almost a month late, my mom had pre-e and apparently back then on the air force base they wouldn't induce. My heart stopped beating and I was suppose to be dead when they pulled me out. 3. On my 21st birthday I was breastfeeding 3 week old twins while my husband and his best friend drank for me...real nice guys. 4. I hope and yes actually pray we live in the Carolinas one day. My heart yearns to be there.  5. I have 14,000 in student loans and will never use the knowledge I learned. Ok, I lie, actually some of has been very helpful in mothering. 6. I can't stand the taste of coconut. And mostly can't stand the smell except for in the summer. Because summer sun + coconut lotion make a wonderful smell, but not on me, someone else must wear it.  7. I am very serious when I say SHUT THE CABINET DOORS. Like so serious. It drives me crazy. Gu...

This is an odd time for me. Since I was 21 years old I have had Alex & Olivia with me all day {minus that year I worked at Pucci Salon in Scottsdale} But now they are in school all day. They are big ole first graders. That is leaving a quieter home. I'm not used to it. If you come to our house mostly it's chaotic.  I mean two adults, three children & a dog, it's bound to be crazy. Mostly we don't mind the crazy, and it's quite possible I thrive on it. I was feeling so blah about it.  And then the whisper.           It's a slow season. And that's ok. So I am in a slower season. A season where I should probably you know clean that basement. And re-organize the kids rooms for the billionth time since we moved here. And love extra on my toddler because Alex and Liv are proof of how fast this all goes.

Come have some coffee with me today Heather's  etsy  who made my coffee mug. Right now there's also a custom chalkboard print for teachers that is super adorable! And of course I must share a few first day of school pictures If we were having coffee what would you tell me?

We walked. Well, I walked, Addie sat in her stroller and yelled out to every flower & flower like weed she saw. She smiled and giggled. I listened to my music and got lost in my thoughts. All I could think about are all my wrong doings. The things I can never seem to get right. My daily failings. I could feel the burning of an ugly cry on the horizon. The chains of yesterday surround me I yearn for peace and rest And I don't want to end up where you found me But Jesus I feel like I'm one mistake away from you leaving me this way Jesus can you show me how far the east is from the west And the tears started welling up. I waited for that lady to pass. I lost it. Right on that walking path in the middle of the Trenton Park. I wept. I no longer could keep my prayers and beggings just that. I had to break. The truth is people are fragile & life is messy.

Today I walked into church angry because someone wasn't lining up to my standards. And I got smacked right in the face. This stems from  THIS  -- feel free to watch it. This is a video where one of my pastors calls everyone dumb, because we all kinda are ;) Because sometimes I forget. I forget grace. Instead I feed into the anger that starts to boil... ....when a driver cuts me off. When I hear something a family member said about my husband, me or my children. When someone meanly speaks hurtful words to ones I love. When my children whine. When my husband neglects to fit into these stupid standards my mind has made up.  "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone {yes, your aunt who has no filter, the neighbor who insists on blaring music out of his jeep at 10 pm after you finally just got your sleep fighting toddler to sleep, that person who grinds your nerves every time they open their mouth} EVERYONE!  Romans 12: 18 ...

Come link up with  Alyssa  for Friday Coffee Date If we were having coffee what would you tell me? Also, I forgot to mention, I ordered blog cards to hand out at influence, that makes me a real bloggy geek now, right?!

This song some of you may not know because you didn't get the privilege of being a 16 year old girl during Barlow Girl's prime spotlight time. They had some great songs that could speak to that teen christian girl's heart. I loved their music. This one was always tough for me because how can you not listen to it and remember at the core, THIS, surrendering to Jesus is SO important and necessary in our walk with Him. We can't fully live life with our spouse without trust, we can't fully live our lives with our children without laughing and we can't fully live our lives with Jesus without surrender. Enjoy & allow God to remind you of this beautiful act of worship.  /// I'm linking up with  Amy  and  Leah

It's getting to that time of year. The one that we all just love. Hot apple cider, sweaters, Starbucks's pumpkin spice latte, boots, browns....and...             FOOTBALL!!!!! We do love football in our family. Our teams: THE Ohio State Buckeyes because DUH!!!, Cleveland Browns (I know feel sorry for us for that one) and our little Edgewood Cougars Do you love football? What are your teams... and if you're going to say Michigan, just get outta here ;)

Dear 8 year old self, I can't find a picture of you but if I could you would be wearing bright colored shorts with probably that favorite bright blue shirt, hair all a mess with shoes close to falling apart. Words unspoken. Know little Katie the things he is doing. And the thing that man is saying and the way he hurts your mom and brother. .....Know God has not left you. He has big plans for you. God did not intend for you to be touched before you should have been. Or to be told lies that would haunt you for a decade... or two, possibly three or four. You are going to marry a man when you two are still kids but he is going to grow and you are going to grow. You will have beautiful children that make your heart turn inside out. You are going to have people in your life that  want more than the " I'm fine ." You are going to be challenged. You are going to cry a lot. You are going to smile and praise and dance. This is a small season in your life. A very ...

I don't do wear posts. Mainly because I can fully admit I am a frumpy mom. A frumpy mom who recently found a shirt that can fit right in, but a much more put together and purpose driven mom life shirt. I saw all over instagram & twitter about  The Mocha Club's  $8 shirt sale. I love a great clothing sale and I've heard of The Mocha Club through several blogs so I hopped on over to their site and found this beauty. I figured summer is basically over anyway, so order the long sleeve. And I am so glad I did. This is one of the softest shirts I've ever worn. It is absolutely perfect for fall (& this odd summer we are having) But What's the point? Just to have a coffee lovin shirt? No...and a little yes "Giving up a few mochas a month = food, water, education, hope" Check out their  website  and see how you can help. 

It's World Breastfeeding Week. And I'm going to share my story. My story of struggle. When I was pregnant with Alex and Olivia I was in my sophomore year of college and one of my classes was Nutrition. Serious love/hate relationship I had with that class. Awesome, but tough. The best part was having to learn about breastfeeding and do a research project on breastfeeding. I was determined to breastfeed them. I took a breastfeeding class at WIC and was so determined. When they were born they both latched well. I felt like a pro.  The struggles started at day one with them because I had nurses who fed my babies formula when I said no formula and a lactation consultant who told me it would be impossible for me to exclusively nurse twins. What the lc was true but for reasons unknown to her very negative self. We dealt with thrush and some strange pain I could never understand. I tried. But I never went and got help. I told everyone and th...

How we made the transition from crib to toddler bed.  {Secret, it's MUCH easier with one baby than two.} My tips are simple but consistency is key! Have a routine. We start preparing Boo for bed by jammies & snuggles. Then we tell her it is bedtime.  I usually take her to bed (mostly because I don't like not being the one to put her to bed) I talk to her about sleeping in her big girl bed. That part should be a big deal the first week or so. I put her in her bed, cover her up and we pray. She is growing up because now she even wants to pray some nights. I have no idea what she is saying but seriously it is so precious. Now this next part.... When starting I would remind tell her she had to stay in her big girl bed. Then I would step out of the room and shut the door, but not all the way so I could see her. Because the first 1-2 weeks is this learning time. I stayed up by her room until she would fall asleep. Every time she got up I would tell...

Today just happens to be one of those days where I seriously question my mothering. The day started with me oversleeping and three precious children on the couch snacking on cheez-its. Sweet at first minus the fact that Boo desperately needed a diaper change which left a pee stained couch. Ok I can handle that, O just wanted to be little momma and take care of her in the morning.  And then the clingy-ness. Oh man. Boo is getting her two year old molars {I figured from what this week has been like with her, confirmed this afternoon when I took the risky move of putting my finger in to check..ouch by the way!} and she is super dee duper clingy. Making toast for A & O ended up being the most tragic thing I could do to Boo.  I begged To come over so her boy could distract Boo so I could finally have a cup of coffee, instead she did the holding and I was finally able to have a quick bowl of cereal and some MUCH NEEDED coffee. And the A & O were refusing...

You can find the recipe  here  from  SKINNYTASTE.COM It might not have been Thanksgiving but we enjoyed a yummy turkey dinner //// Watching a little Francis Chan sermon while cooking.  I have to say I really like this combination. Working with my hands. The smells. And food to my spirit & heart. What? You don't have one of these Get yours  here You will thank me later. Promise. In the crock pot for 5-7 hours. Yum. Smelling this all day. Boo's thoughts on this dinner: