Skip to main content

Fragile & Messy

We walked. Well, I walked, Addie sat in her stroller and yelled out to every flower & flower like weed she saw. She smiled and giggled. I listened to my music and got lost in my thoughts. All I could think about are all my wrong doings. The things I can never seem to get right. My daily failings. I could feel the burning of an ugly cry on the horizon.

The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
And I don't want to end up where you found me
But Jesus I feel like I'm one mistake away from you leaving me this way
Jesus can you show me how far the east is from the west

And the tears started welling up.
I waited for that lady to pass.
I lost it.
Right on that walking path in the middle of the Trenton Park.
I wept.

I no longer could keep my prayers and beggings just that.
I had to break.

The truth is people are fragile & life is messy.







Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Girl Behind the Blog

I'm linking up with the lovely Ashley from  Written On Her Heart  and Mackenzie from  Life of a Pint Sized Mama Oh and my Al man decided he wanted to do a video too Thanks for stopping by!!

Girl Behind The Blog

Its link up time Of all the link ups I've been involved with this is my favorite! Melody // Dance Parties In The Rain Rachael // Kincaid Parade Rachel // Finding Joy Come link up with  Ashley  and  Nadine for this month's Girl Behind The Blog

We are not part of his story and he is not part of ours

"Write drunk; edit sober" -Ernest Hemingway I've never actually attempted this, but tonight I am. I've had my wine and if you know me at all it doesn't take much to get my lightheaded & giggly. I'm truly not a Windau (my maiden name) when it comes to my alcohol consumption. I put my catholic roots to shame. I'm ok with that. I'm not a mean drunk, but a purely giggly & say inappropriate thing drunk. Today stung. It stung hard. Last Tuesday we got a call for a little 5 month old baby. Technically we got a call for 4 boys but for reasons that I will not share, we could only say yes to little guy. And then there was waiting. And more waiting because our agency couldn't find a home for 4 of the little guys, they came from a sibling group of 6. All 6. Boys. That would be headed for permanent custody. In my mind all the things lined up. I had prayed for an orphan. I had been learning about how to bond with a baby in the adoption sens...