the here + now

Gosh, I can't believe it's Friday already. It's been a learning week for me which is always hard but good. Will I be joining YOU for a real coffee date in 4 weeks?

From the time I was (3 weeks before) 21 I have been a twin mommy. I have never had the life of just one baby/toddler/kid. Because of this I have put pretty much all a lot of who I am, my worth in being a twin mom. Except I didn't really realize that until this past week. They are big ole first graders now, which means full day school. Originally I thought things like "now I have no excuses not to exercise", "look how much one on one time I'll be soaking up with Addison" and "I am going to get so much cleaning done" ....Only to find out. Something was wrong. I felt depressed and off. Things just didn't feel right. And when Alex & Liv got home I would feel just frustrated. This doesn't make sense.  But it hit me --- I have put so much of my worth in who I am in being a twin mom. Because being a mom is a lot of work, being a twin mom {IS THE BEST THING EVER} is double the work. I put too much into that. Even when they were babies/todd...

I'm linking up with  Ashley  and  Annie  for this month's   G I R L B E H I N D T H E B L O G This one is all about travel All 3 of my littles joined in this time

25 Things you may or may not know about me 1. I was born in Mountain Home, Idaho. My dad was in the airforce. 2. I was born almost a month late, my mom had pre-e and apparently back then on the air force base they wouldn't induce. My heart stopped beating and I was suppose to be dead when they pulled me out. 3. On my 21st birthday I was breastfeeding 3 week old twins while my husband and his best friend drank for me...real nice guys. 4. I hope and yes actually pray we live in the Carolinas one day. My heart yearns to be there.  5. I have 14,000 in student loans and will never use the knowledge I learned. Ok, I lie, actually some of has been very helpful in mothering. 6. I can't stand the taste of coconut. And mostly can't stand the smell except for in the summer. Because summer sun + coconut lotion make a wonderful smell, but not on me, someone else must wear it.  7. I am very serious when I say SHUT THE CABINET DOORS. Like so serious. It drives me crazy. Gu...

This is an odd time for me. Since I was 21 years old I have had Alex & Olivia with me all day {minus that year I worked at Pucci Salon in Scottsdale} But now they are in school all day. They are big ole first graders. That is leaving a quieter home. I'm not used to it. If you come to our house mostly it's chaotic.  I mean two adults, three children & a dog, it's bound to be crazy. Mostly we don't mind the crazy, and it's quite possible I thrive on it. I was feeling so blah about it.  And then the whisper.           It's a slow season. And that's ok. So I am in a slower season. A season where I should probably you know clean that basement. And re-organize the kids rooms for the billionth time since we moved here. And love extra on my toddler because Alex and Liv are proof of how fast this all goes.

Come have some coffee with me today Heather's  etsy  who made my coffee mug. Right now there's also a custom chalkboard print for teachers that is super adorable! And of course I must share a few first day of school pictures If we were having coffee what would you tell me?

We walked. Well, I walked, Addie sat in her stroller and yelled out to every flower & flower like weed she saw. She smiled and giggled. I listened to my music and got lost in my thoughts. All I could think about are all my wrong doings. The things I can never seem to get right. My daily failings. I could feel the burning of an ugly cry on the horizon. The chains of yesterday surround me I yearn for peace and rest And I don't want to end up where you found me But Jesus I feel like I'm one mistake away from you leaving me this way Jesus can you show me how far the east is from the west And the tears started welling up. I waited for that lady to pass. I lost it. Right on that walking path in the middle of the Trenton Park. I wept. I no longer could keep my prayers and beggings just that. I had to break. The truth is people are fragile & life is messy.