Expectations.

That's it.
That's where I struggle with relationships.
Specifically friendships.
Having unrealistic expectations.
God has really opened my heart and mind lately to friendships.
This is such a sore subject for me.
It's like once I left high school friendships no longer existed.
It has always seemed so difficult.
For years, especially the last few months
I have cried and cried and cried.
Cried about not having friends,
Cried over not having that ONE true best friend
.....you know the one that sticks closer than a brother.
The one that would choose me over any other friend.
Wow.
Selfish much?

But God has really been opening my heart and my eyes
to view friendship different.
To view it in a more godly way.
And a reminder that the world does not in fact revolve around Katie Shannon.

And through learning more about GRACE.
I have learned more about people.
More about relationships. Friendships.

But through Unglued I have learned one of my major issues.
Besides the fact I'm not honest with people when I'm hurt.
Besides the fact I tend to close myself off after getting hurt.
I tend to have unrealistic expectations of others.
And those unrealistic expectations cause me to feel hurt.
Then cause me to feel unwanted.
Then the unwanted feelings cause bitterness.
Which then causes lying when asked "what's wrong"
and I reply nothing.
And boom bye bye relationship.

So I'm working on it.
Ok in my head.
The whole in action thing is still needing lots of work.
But I am finally allowing God to speak to me.
Speak to me about my loneliness.
To speak to me about the cliche to have good friends you have to be a good friend.

Open your heart to God and change does in fact happen!!!
Even if you're stubborn ;)