This is my journey.....

....and to me will never be a race.

Unless we're talking about a turtle race.

Slow.

Steady.

One step forward and three back.

Weight loss.

Working out.

Health.

Bravery.

Yep that's what I'm getting more and more passionate about.

I've been here before. 

This beautifully frustrating weight loss journey.

First time was in 7th grade where I stopped eating.

Which lead me to pass out during a basketball game cheering.

My cheer coach was on the line about yanking me from the squad.

And then high school.

Crazy long workouts with my best friend.

Yep....that didn't last long.

After getting married.

It was all about making myself feel as terrible as possible, because of course that would cause a change, right?!

Then after the twins were born.

They were about 4 months old when I hit my highest weight....

230.

That number was scary.

And I decided to make a change.

And I did.

But how I did it was mostly hidden.

I learned about calories.

Days where I ate 500-700 calories made me feel like I had some sort of value.

Which lead to other dangerous old habits.

Then we moved to Arizona and I had this beautiful friend, Andrea, who actually helped me. She was teaching me all about foods and about loving myself exactly where I was.

And I started my journey.

I lost 51 pounds in 6 months. 

I felt strong & beautiful.

And then.....

we moved back to Ohio and I got pregnant with Addison.

I spent the first trimester in absolute misery.

And once I could eat...well I ate.

I kept trying to come up with excuses, but the truth it I was just so happy to be able to move around and eat without my head in the toilet.

Back to the same spot again.

I was filled with so much shame.

But I have learned something.

There's no point in feeling shame. 

There's just no point.

So I'm losing again.

Here are my tips for new weight loss losers or those doing it again

1. First off before even thinking about starting a weight loss journey -- look in the mirror. It IS okay to not like that you are overweight, but it is not okay to bash that beautiful girl in the mirror. You may not see it, but your heavenly father does.

2. Start slowly. You are not going to be eating perfectly clean in that first week or be able to run a 5k.

3. Sweat. 

There's no way around it. 

You need to burn calories. Find something you love and do it.

I personally love Spin, Zumba & TurboFire

4. You have to change the way you eat. Food is a HUGE deal. Like majorly. You cannot out exercise a bad diet. I am sure you may have heard this before. It is so true. Go about it however it works for you. But remember BALANCE.

5. Lift.

There's really not much for me to say here, because I am still learning this one. I have been reading up on lifting lately and it seems like if you want to lose effectively you must lift. Muscles help burn calories.

6. Water!!!

Water is your secret weapon.

It fills you. Keeps you hydrated.

And.... is a natural detox!

Give yourself grace--this is hard stuff.

Educate yourself.

Enjoy life.

Make changes that will last.

Also I encourage you to read the devotional Made To Crave

That devotional really helped me to identify the why.

Why did I gain so much. And why did  I keep gaining it back.