We are messy women that come eager

Recently I talked about my twins going to first grade was more a transition than I planned for. I imagined being able to breath a little more, having more time for cleaning, enjoying a quieter house. My imagination steered me wrong. I started falling into the darkness that we like to call depressed. I had to make changes. I talked with a few friends and decided I just can't be in my house all day waiting for these two

all day long. {Sidenote, look how big they are getting!!!}

I knew I had to engage. 

And the thought entered I should try MOPS again. I fought that thought. No, last time I tried it for a year and once I left no one noticed and no one cared. I sat there surrounded by 50 women feeling so alone. I was surrounded by women who had their friends. Who had motherhood all together. I was a 21 year old, overwhelmed mother of twins attending a MOPS group at a church I grew up in, where when I was in youth group I was in the clique now I was on the outside already bitter from some happenings then went on in the church leadership. 

I gave it a year. I saw no point in all the exhaustion of getting two toddlers ready and out the door to a room where I left feeling deflated.

But what do you know....I went. 

There are two things I know that are different.

1. Yes, I am still timid talking to new people, but not that timid. I no longer feel like people look at me like a bug that needs to be squashed.

2. I get motherhood. I get how hard it is. How much all of us are exhausted, needing Jesus & community.

Sometimes being brave is hard. Sometimes doing something you've done before seems pointless, but sometimes you do actually grow and that growth can make these experiences more rewarding.

I'm so glad I went today. I sat there knowing my own messy life, being surrounded by other women with messy lives all coming together to love like Jesus & embrace each other no matter how messy we all are. 

We come eager for a small mental break from our littles.

We come eager to talk, drink coffee & enjoy treats.

We come eager to discuss our children's successes and struggles.

We come eager to be filled with His word.

(It definitely helped to have a friend come with me)

Are you a part of MOPS? Have you ever tried it? Did you struggle to feel included or did you feel welcome from the start? Would you ever consider joining?