the here + now

I love when people talk about what they are passionate about. What stirs their hearts & leads them to more of Jesus. I love hearing about God using normal everyday people to do big things. And I love that God created us all uniquely to have passions about different things. To impact all the people. We are all called to different spaces of life. Some into orphan care, that's one that gets my heart going. Some into fighting for freedom which I also love that one. Some for missions. And to feed the hungry. To care for widows. And mentor the most most "difficult" teens. Some to stay home & raise their babies. Some to encourage. Whatever your gift, use it. Use it for Jesus. We are not to just go through this life untouched. But to be raw & ready to let Jesus move us to go deeper.  That's why I love this song by Matthew West. He created YOU to do something. To make a difference in the things that make you angry. The things that explode your heart.  "...

My friend  Alessandra  is visiting the blog today about the beautiful miracle in having a baby. - - - - - - - -  Having a baby is an incredibly miraculous moment. This little child has been growing and moving inside of you for the past forty weeks. You felt this little beings every move, every kick, and every punch. There has been an incredible bond that has been built between the two of you in the past months and then the time finally comes to meet your little one. It truly is incredible. You thought you had loved this one before, but the moment your eyes lay upon their precious body you cannot even comprehend the feelings that consume you. This is love. Being a mother takes the depth of love to an entirely new level. You feel like you have never felt before. You hurt like you have never hurt before. The depth of this love radiates within every ounce of your being. This love is powerful and fierce. The strength of this love is impossible to comprehend, it...

Sometimes the things of this world just seem so much. So much hurt & it seems overwhelming. I question God. Why? Why is there so much hurt. Why is she having to walk this road? Why are these children in this tough spot? I get very angry. But mostly I just cry. Because I know God's plans are greater. Because I am in His arms crying about the stupid things of this world. Because I know I actually have no control over the pain my family & friends will have to endure.  And because I know sin entered the world.  "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33 We weren't promised a life without pain. The people in my life aren't promised a life without pain and the questions that go with it all. But I know I can find peace in God & they can to. Throughout this life we see the beauty too, we see how God worked things out for our good. We c...

When I asked Kate to guest blog for me, I didn't know that I would be needing these words within days of asking her to write about teens. Thank you so much for sharing with us today Kate!!! - - - - - - - The youth of today.. Hey there! My name is Kate and I blog over at Simply Be. I was so excited when Katie asked me to guest post for her for a couple of reasons.  I adore Katie’s heart and sincerely believe in the work she does for the Kingdom She inspires me on a whole other level & I admire the ministry her family does!  When Katie asked me to speak about the youth and teens in our world, I really had to sit back and pray about what I should say. I could write for days about teens, their hearts, the challenges they face, their breakthroughs, their horrible smells, fun memories and so much more! As I began this post .. a couple of times, God brought me back to this one single thought: The youth of today cannot be shielded from reality.  I’v...

The things God calls us to rarely make sense. Instead it's an act of faith.  The things God is leading you to, can make other people look at you like you have 3 heads or may need to be admitted. And at the end of the day, week, month & years it's all about Him, all about His glory, His story, His grace. I am so thankful to be part of that story. What I have learned, is God gently & sometimes not so gently leads us to the places to go. If it keeps coming to your mind and it is something completely crazy but you can see God's hand in it, girl you betta get to praying.  We have stepped into a season of what you & others will think is completely crazy, but without a doubt in my mind God has lead us here. To this exact timing, His will.  Would you join in & praying for our family and to the two that have been lead to our home?

Home for me is very special. It's the place my children grow. Where they are sent to their room to cool down. It's the place my husband and I try and navigate through the things that want to rip us apart. It's where we relax. And play. And cry. And gigle. Our home is a place with open doors to children who need a safe place, a warm bed & food in their bellies. Most times I am beyond thankful for this space. We have 4 bedroom & 2 1/2 bathrooms.  A basement that needs finished, but the future is available. We have an open kitchen & food plentiful. I am thankful for this home. Sometimes I forget though, When I see the serious lack of real paint & not the construction paint that is still there after almost 2 years. A mismatched grouping of barely hanging together furniture. A mixture of blacks & browns that aren't the modern way, but just a mix of stuff. A serious lack of actual decorating. Crayon on the walls & finge...

To become a foster parent requires training, for us we had to take 40 hours and must take 40 hours every two years. You learn about abuse & culture & how children are brought into foster care & how messy it all can be. And sometimes I get angry thinking about it, because for a time for my life was scary. Home was not safe. Home was the most frightening place for me to be. I never knew if he was going to turn into the evil person and hurt my family. Sometimes I feel so conflicted with my feelings, being thankful that we were not taken out of our home. that my brothers & I were not split up. And then other times I'm so angry. Why didn't anyone save us?  Why didn't my family who I told things were happening come rescue us?  Why didn't our church rescue us?  How could "christians" tell my mom that she needed to be a better wife so he wouldn't be so abusive?  Why didn't the cops that came to our house ever take us away? I don...

"Mom who is that?" "That's me when I was pregnant with Addie" "But your belly looks so small" This is the "small" 30 week pregnant belly she is referring to. This is my battle. Ok one of them, that I write a lot about on this blog. Where I keep saying I'm going to get back to that place. To where I was smaller. To before I had Addison. I finally found that place & then I got pregnant again. And I gained just as much with her and I did with my twins.  I have been feeling so lost, overwhelmed. By not seeing results, by knowing the truth that I have been half assing (don't worry you won't see these words like ever on my blog, but today it's just what it is) my eating. Sure I would have good days followed by days of all day eating, leaving me more empty that ever.  What do you do when you get to this place? Y ou just start. Start somewhere that makes sense. Start with acceptance & grace. And knowing that ...

1. I make a "Windau face"  If I had a picture I would show you & if you have ever met me in real life you know what I'm talking about. Windau face is this certain face I make when I'm concerntrating or nervous, most of the time I don't even recognize I'm doing it. (Windau is my maiden name, the people in my family do it, I guess the stupid face is hereditary --- yes I still hate & hope one day I can learn to accept it as a beautiful part of me) 2. When I write blog posts on a certain word like grace for example I like to look the word up in the (interenet) dictionary. I feel reading the whole meaning of the word makes it come alive. 3. I love doing laundry, which most of you know, but I hate ironing my husband's clothes, because those are the only clothes I ever iron. I would rather scrub toilets, do dishes or clean baseboards than have to iron, BUT I have found a silver lining, it's a great time to pray. 4. When I was little...

About a year and a half ago Doug and I seriously started considering adoption and eventually we were lead to foster care. The day I read this verse is the day I first received an email back from a county worker, it may not seem like a big deal, but in my wondering, hopeful, scared heart, it was a big deal to me.  On June 24th we will celebrate 1 year of our foster care license. We have been in it just shy of 9 months. Two placements & two handfuls of respit. And day by day my heart breaks more & more. If you are a human being watch this video. You may not feel like God is leading you to orphan care and that's ok, God has something different for you, but just for knowledge watch this because you may be a teacher in a third grade class or a photographer attempting to do a shoot of mis-matched faces, an onlooker at the grocery while a 4 year old screams profanities you feel guilty if you even think them or the Sunday school teacher. ReMoved from HESCHLE ...

  I started reading Kara Kae's blog around 2 years ago & thought she's doing this motherhood thing right. She loves those girls so much but she is honest with her struggles. She encourages mothers and there is no mama wars on her blog. I started following Nathalie's it seems like forever ago. I know it wasn't, but she was one of the first I started following when I started my blog. These are two of the several women that I saw something special in the christian online world. They weren't trying to prove that how they mothered was the correct way, but instead shared their stories.  And out of God seeing a need, a whisper & a beautiful friendship  Thrive Moms  was born.  And I feel so stinkin lucky to be a part of it.  Mamas, this life is tough. Being married is tough. Raising littles is tough. Keeping Jesus the focus of it all is tough. Being friends with other moms is tough. Emotions are tough. Keeping a home in order is tough...

In January & February I posted pictures of items found on pinterest that give me inspiration. This month I want something more, something that I can physically grasp that is spurring my soul on. To more of Jesus, more of my husband and more of my children. To grow deeper & love more unselfishly. I don't want to wait. I don't want to phone to cause me to tense up. I want to live in the moment with those around me. To take every special moment with my husband and beautiful and precious. And remember that the not so fun moments pass. I want to listen to every made up pokemon, read every story & be attentive to every tantrum. To be fully present with the family & friends are around even though my flesh cries hide in your own little world. I want to live this life without fear & be ready for what comes next.

///Isaiah 46:4////