I was here. Where were you?

When she came to our home, tiny. Too tiny. At 13 months, still able to be in a pumpkin seat.
I was here.
When she was terrified of bath time. When she would scream and scratch me anywhere she could.
I was here.
When she didn't know how to play with toys.
I was here.
When the only way she could deal with life was by sleeping all the time.
I was here.
When she would zone out after seeing her mom and siblings.
I was here.
When she went to her first day of day care.
I was here.
When she couldn't sleep because she was so congested.
I was here.
When she busted open her mouth and needed a trip to the emergency room.
I was here.
When she found the joy in swimming.
I was here.

Where have you been?
You who now decides to swoop in and save these children you have no relationship with.
But you get rights because of blood.
You weren't available when she went into care.
But now you want to take them all from the homes they've known and grown in the past 9 months.

I don't hate you, I just wish you would have stepped into the gap sooner.
I'm just mad.
And I'm scared.