Part 10

Eventually the adoption worker saw she would not be able to place all four siblings together.
So the plan became the two older would go back to their previous foster home and we were given an ultimatum.
We could adopt Z if we would also adopt her brother.
I will not go into details
but we had to make a really hard decision.
We knew before even talking about it that we could not say yes to him just to get her back.
That is not fair to us, to him, to our children and to our family.
We would not be ultimatum-ed into doing something if we could not give a full yes.
We read his referral. And spoke to his therapist. And had a visit.
We went into this knowing this could very likely be the last time we see our precious baby.
     (people get real up in words -- when I say our baby, yes I know she's not technically in any
      form "ours" but in our hearts she has always been ours)

The weekend was a weekend full of allllll the things, feelings wise.
I felt in turmoil all weekend.


I will not lay out all the details of the decision, because that's ours and his story is his.
But we had to make the hard choice to say no.