“Write hard and clear about what hurts”
-Ernest Hemingway
Lack of control.
That’s what hurts.
When we choose to make hard
decisions.
Those decisions that no matter the
decision, it somehow still feels all sorts of wrong.
And then people will react to
your hard decision like you grew ten heads that was going to attack them.
That’s what hurts.
Lack of control.
That’s what hurts.
When a child gets removed from
your home.
Placed in kinship.
And then heads back into foster
care and you are not the first option.
That’s what hurts.
Lack of control.
That’s what hurts.
When life just keeps happening.
People don’t talk about “life
happening” in a joyous way
But in an I’m tired and feel just
over it kind of way
The kind where every day feels
heavy.
That’s what hurts
Lack of control
That’s what hurts
When I can’t form my children
into what I want
Because fear gets to me
And being able to see farther is
not a human concept
That’s what hurts
Lack of control
That’s what hurts
When the days are long and the
years are short
When I know I’m screwing them up
And I’m terrified for my littles
to say
“My family is so screwed up”
Yet we say it
T H A T S W H A T H U R T S
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