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Daughter of God????

What does it mean to be a daughter of God?
And how does one who has forever struggled with a father relationship supposed to walk this out?

Here's what I know.
Earthly fathers are sinners.
Like me. And like you.

I have to constantly bring it back to that.
God is not a sinner.
My dad is a sinner.
And Mike. And Bill. And Dave.
All these men that have been in my life.
One that helped give me life.
One that was abusive and turned our lives upside down.
One who I know actually loves my mama.
And one I got as a bonus father (in law)

And here's what I know.
Everyone has scared me.
Men scare me.
All. Every. It doesn't matter who they are. Their past & current will never change how I feel.

I walk life scared if I'm alone in an elevator with just a man or in an aisle at Kroger.
I'm scared if anyone walks up behind me, but men raise that terror to a whole other level.

And then there's God.
This being who is to love me wholly.
Who I should want to go to as a daddy, but I don't even know what that looks like.

I believe God loves me. I think.
And I believe He wants big God things for me. I think.
And I absolutely know that I know that I know that He wept over the things I went through. The hurt that was placed on my body, my soul and my spirit.

I am not broken.
I am not in chains.
I am not a slave to fear.

I believe, help my unbelief.






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