the here + now

Well why not. I may have a link up addiction. This is my first ever link up with  5ohwifey   and  Living In Yellow Here are my 3 things I can't live without -- what about you? {{Oh and excuse the scary monster on the screen - she's quite sick}} You can also link up and join the fun!

When we first started to consider foster care, about a year ago, I found all the answers to say no. I found ways to justify why we shouldn't do it. Why that would not be good for our family, our biological children. And then it just went away....not really, away, just on the back burner.  And then we started to consider it again, but it was more along the lines of adoption. We know domestic is what we are called to. Again foster care was rising up and again I told my husband reasons why it isn't for us. Reasons against it. But now that it is the option -- OUR option, OUR choice --- I have never been more passionate. I have a feeling this passion will continue to grow. It's that passion where you start to believe everyone should feel & think like you do. That everyone should be foster parents. We aren't even foster parents yet.  The more research I do, the more personal stories I read the more God draws my heart in.  Yes there are thousands of "what-ifs...

His Voice Link Up What God has been teaching me in October HIS ways. His ways, His plans, His purposes far outweigh my little, unimaginative dreams. That He has me in the palm of His hand.  More on relationships --- they truly are messy little {BIG} things. Trying to be completely real with people, not the fake real, is hard work for me. Trying to face my struggles in my marriage. The fact that submission shouldn't be seen as dirty, but freeing. The fact that I can't seem to think that way. I have a lot of growing to do. That children need security. They need a place to call home. More than my wanting to adopt. I've really been learning, especially this week, that mothering does NOT get easier the older my children  In fact, it's harder. I didn't think peer pressure would already be starting, but it is. This past week I have felt very much less than. Very much just so un-put together. Such a mess.  Thankfully HIS grace --- is far greater...

If you wanna join in on the fun --- do it! And link up with  Alyssa

My negativity. My fear. My anxiety. My brokenness. It was all wiped away. Ok not all of it. But then weight of it all was lifted. And God said this is my plan for you. He's used so many around me to speak life into me. To remind me of God's great power. And then yesterdays  devotional  made things very clear. {{Little psa - if you are female, love Jesus and are ready for serious growth go to link above}} After that devotional I just broke down. I was reminded it's not just about me. As I even write this I feel shaky. Remembering that His children need security. Need somewhere to be safe and although we are no where near perfect parents We CAN provide a safe home. It may be crazy here but we love each other like crazy. God gave us this. And even though storms will come HE will never leave our sides. So we are getting ready. Preparing our hearts. Will be taking foster care classes soon. There are still some questions left. Like the fact that ...

I'm not going to apologize, don't expect me to. I'm going to lay it all out. My feelings, my thoughts. I'm going to lay it all out. I'm going to be as real as I can. I'm not going to put on a facade or a fake {internet} smile. I realize we are being called this direction. That this is one of those things. Those big things. Where FAITH is the answer. But it doesn't make it any easier. Here we are. Our adoption box is broken. As it should be. I cannot put adoption into a box anymore than I can fit God in a box. As so our options are placed in our faces. Foster care and then adopt Or private agency. I knew before I even talked to my husband about it which way he would be leaning towards. I knew it. I kept fighting the thoughts. But  I KNEW. And of course him being such a rock has an answer to everything. And the reminder that sometimes when God calls us somewhere it seems impossible. It seems scary.  An...

If you know Doug and I. If you know our hearts. Adoption resides there. Growing our family. Knowing that all HIS children should have a family. And I finally sent in the request  {again because the first time it apparently didn't go through} I received the follow up email today I didn't expect the reaction that happened after reading that email. It was simple, just a few questions and some facts I didn't understand. A children services language all their own. I emailed back the social worker and then was told to call her. I didn't expect what I heard. No foster care to adoptions unless we are adopting children 10 or older. In my head I had it perfectly planned. Yes, it would not be easy or quick But we would adopt a younger foster care child, not a baby,  A toddler or young child. Now our choices are foster care and then maybe adopt or a private agency. That's not how I had it planned out. No. That does not fit my box. My perfect ...

GOOD MORNING LADIES Thanks for visiting  and check out  Alyssa's site  for her Friday Coffee Date and all the others that have linked up! 

I have no idea where this blog will go. If it will techinically "go" anywhere. But for now this is my space. My place to spill my thoughts. But how dull was katiejaneshannon.blogspot.com And then Alyssa from Rags to Stitches posted this one of her  Friday Coffee Date about Finding Your Brand.  And it got me thinking more. About my brand. Well I have no idea. But what I do know is I have changed the past year. I have allowed God to finally start working on that cold stone that was in my chest. And GRACE. That is been the theme of my life. Alyssa asked in the video to think of 5 words I would want people to describe my blog. My words: 1. Graceful 2. Transparent 3. Hopeful 4. Loving 5. Pictures And then I asked my new bloggy buddy  Amber  to brainstorm with me and responded quickly with a verse that came to mind. That verse is "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and f...

Within the past year I started not liking because a stay at home mom.  I started yearning for this "more" thing. And over and over in my head I felt "not good enough". It's been a battle.  I'd have days where I just hated it so much. And than days where I was so thankful. I know I am blessed that I do get to stay home. I know I am blessed to be able to spend so much time with my children. But this is my struggle. Chaos. I hate it. I don't like the mess. I feel like it's always a mess. The mess makes me feel like a terrible stay at home. I can't seem to relax  And just let it be. But then I was reminded by a friend. THIS. This that I have grown to resent. This where I felt not good enough. This is my ministry. Oh yeah, I forgot about that part. I forgot that serving Douglas, Olivia, Alex, and Addison is my ministry. I forgot that yes in fact  I AM IMPORTANT. What I do does, in fact, matter. That th...

Friday our house guests all left for the weekend. To be honest, I was quite sad. Matt had drill this weekend. Cassie and Landon went to her momma's house. It's been quieter. The original plan was to get the whole house back into complete order. I have been a MAJOR slacker with cleaning lately and it just needs one of those major cleanings - you know the kind that make you delirious by the end of the day. Friday night was uneventful, so much that Addie and I ended up doing this: Hey - we may be crazy but fun none the less ;) That night we had a little family movie night. The Avengers. And nachos!!! We LOVE nachos in this house.  Saturday morning was another early morning game. Thankfully this time I was prepared for cold weather Addie was not very happy about being at the game Saturday morning -- this is how she acted most of the game After the game I took a nap and it was wonderful!! I wasn't planning on it, but Addison was sleeping a...

Slowly pieces are coming together. Slowly I've been allowing God to really work on the ugliness in my heart. Slowly I've realized what I've had in front of me all along. Slowly I feel the need to not care anymore what YOU think of me. Slowly what I care about is just JESUS ---> His love, His sacrifice, His grace, His redemption, His guidance, His...His...His...It's all HIS! But I don't want to go slow. I want to scream it from the rooftops. I don't care if you don't think I'm a "real" christian, whatever the heck that means. I don't care if you think I'm the most awkward person you have ever met {sorry Charlie, that's never going to change} I care if you believe you are loved by Jesus. I care if you are saved. I care if you need prayer. I care if you are sad. I care if you need a hug. I care. I want a purpose. A driven life. Something I am passionate about. But I'm still lost on what exactly that is. La...

Ok -  I don't think Alyssa from Ragstostitches is not doing a Coffee Friday Date since she's at Influence Conference - but I did Enjoy! ;)

Yes. I have been struggling this week. With that yucky jealousy. Why? Influence Conference. Enough said, right?! {For those not going} I've been feeling jealous Reading about packing and meet ups. Oh how I wish I would've made more of an effort to plan. To be able to go. I wish when I knew I wanted to go That I would have actually tried to make it happen. But I didn't. That's something I'm bad about. When there's something I really want, I tend to give up and say "it's not possible" So my consequence Is not going. So the ugly jealousy snuck up quickly in my spirit. Even last night I had a dream I was there, meeting up with a new bloggy buddy. I woke up quickly and almost started crying. But then God spoke. And while I am still wishing I could be there. Every time that jealousy creeps up...instead I pray . I pray for my bloggy friends attending. I am praying for the leaders. I am praying for you beautiful ladies . But you...

Last week my husband told me I would be receiving 3 surprises. #1 Iphone #2 Case for Iphone #3..... I waited. And then on Saturday Doug let me know we would be taking a trip {because I get a little...ok A LOT stressed way too easily so he had to warn me or I probably would have had a complete meltdown, not something I'm proud about myself, but it is true} Sunday my sweet friend, Cassie, took me to to the mall to find a dress. And find a dress I did find. So I started preparing and the dryer went kaput. So Sunday night was spent at the laundromat. It didn't take me too long because when I got there it wasn't too busy. But dang those washers are teeny tiny. So $20 later a dent in the laundry was accomplished. Then Monday morning I tried to get some cleaning done, the packing finished and look like a normal human being going on a date with the love of my life. Makeup. Hair. Hot dress. I still had no idea where we were headed. I had an...

I just finally listened to Alyssa's  Coffee Date post from yesterday and she is doing a series all about "Knowing Your Brand" on your blog. This has always been so up in the air for me. I've had several blogs. This is one I started a few months ago when my heart finally needed to write. I had about a year dry spell thanks to PPD. And I was more than eager to start writing again. It first started as weight, not just physical but soon changed. Changed to me feeling the need to be transparent and sharing my heart. The need to be real.  But my name. I know I don't want it to say as my name.  So 5 words I would want people to describe my blog: 1. Graceful 2. Transparent 3. Loving 4. Hopeful 5. Pictures Those would be my 5 words. But maybe you have a different view on my blog? Share!! 

Hey guys it's Friday that means Coffee Date Friday And hey I actually have my hair not in a messy bun and some makeup on I would call today a success  Join  Alyssa  and all the others linked up

That's it. That's where I struggle with relationships. Specifically friendships. Having unrealistic expectations. God has really opened my heart and mind lately to friendships. This is such a sore subject for me. It's like once I left high school friendships no longer existed. It has always seemed so difficult. For years, especially the last few months I have cried and cried and cried. Cried about not having friends, Cried over not having that ONE true best friend .....you know the one that sticks closer than a brother. The one that would choose me over any other friend. Wow. Selfish much? But God has really been opening my heart and my eyes to view friendship different. To view it in a more godly way. And a reminder that the world does not in fact revolve around Katie Shannon. And through learning more about GRACE. I have learned more about people. More about relationships. Friendships. But through Unglued I have learned one of my major issues. B...