the here + now

I saw the words come across my screen FOCUS ON YOUTH. The foster care agency. I froze. All the sudden in everything that had happened after L&B left, because, it can't be our lives without something else happening. No down time. No rest. The next thing. I didn't realize how scared I was to say YES again. And yet how scared I was to say no. ((And by the way, we're getting the rest now, kind of)) Doug and I had talked. We were going to wait. Summer is busy. We're going on vacation. Respite too soon after a placement is just not a good idea. I might be back in school. We had real reasons of saying no right now. But I was scared to say yes. We jumped in feet first with L&B and they turned our world upside down in good and for a season not so good ways. We loved. We struggled. We did the things foster parents just do because at the core that's who we are. Yesterday was the first time since they've left that I had that feeling. That feeling you