Sometimes I get in my head too much. I feel so overwhelmed. By past reactions. How others view me. My weight. Negativity. I just feel so overwhelmed in my head. 90% of the time THEY.ARE.LIES. Yet, lies I believe. Lies that hurt. Lies that change how I view others. Lies that keep me closed in. I forget about His grace even on a day I was reminded how much grace I can receive. On a day I'm told not just to praise Him for His grace -- but to let in penetrate my soul. Instead the lies sink it. The teeth of the liar sinks deep. Cuts me open. Reminds me I'm a loner. A fatty. Ugly. Unwanted. And don't forget - you have to no friends. Thank God I was reminded yesterday that the last one is definitely a lie. My husband says inside my head is a scary place. He's so right. When I push God out and let the lies sink their vicious teeth It's frightening. The thoughts. The pure darkness I feel. I'm thankful God doesn't give up on me...
"we tend to stay away from mourning and dancing. too afraid to cry, too shy to dance. we become narrow-minded complainers, avoiding pain and also true human joy. while we live in a world subject to the evil one, we belong to God. let us mourn, and let us dance." -henri nouwen