Thursday, September 20, 2012

Lies.

Sometimes I get in my head too much. 
I feel so overwhelmed.
By past reactions.
How others view me.
My weight.
Negativity.
I just feel so overwhelmed in my head.

90% of the time
THEY.ARE.LIES.
Yet, lies I believe.
Lies that hurt.
Lies that change how I view others.
Lies that keep me closed in.

I forget about His grace even on a day I was reminded how much grace I can receive.
On a day I'm told not just to praise Him for His grace -- but to let in penetrate my soul.

Instead the lies sink it.
The teeth of the liar sinks deep.
Cuts me open.

Reminds me I'm a loner.
A fatty.
Ugly.
Unwanted.
And don't forget - you have to no friends.

Thank God I was reminded yesterday that the
last one is definitely a lie.

My husband says inside my head is a scary place.
He's so right.
When I push God out and let the lies sink their vicious teeth
It's frightening.
The thoughts.
The pure darkness I feel.

I'm thankful God doesn't give up on me
He doesn't take the grace back.
He doesn't just walk away
.......because sometimes I just don't get it.


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