It's running on a road. With it all around. Depression, worry, doubt, fear guilt, shame, confusion, the calendar comparisons, food issues.... It's locking on my feet, at my side, piercing my heart. And then I reach a hand out and grab a scripture, read a christian book, listen to sermon. Just enough to keep pushing on. I'm barely moving my feet, sometimes it's like spinning, the darkness makes me loose sight of the path. I end up in fetal position crying over a child's messy room. Feeling scared sitting at the park because other women are there but not Cassie. So I grab some, I reach hard. And I keep moving the feet. Keep pushing. This is non sense. There are two scriptures that God keeps feeding into my heart. Bring light to the darkness & It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, t he Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. John 16:7
"we tend to stay away from mourning and dancing. too afraid to cry, too shy to dance. we become narrow-minded complainers, avoiding pain and also true human joy. while we live in a world subject to the evil one, we belong to God. let us mourn, and let us dance." -henri nouwen