Wednesday, September 2, 2015

this present darkness

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It's running on a road.
With it all around.
Depression, worry, doubt, fear
guilt, shame, confusion, the calendar
comparisons, food issues....
It's locking on my feet, at my side, piercing my heart.

And then I reach a hand out and grab 
a scripture, read a christian book, listen to sermon.
Just enough to keep pushing on.

I'm barely moving my feet,
sometimes it's like spinning,
the darkness makes me loose sight of the path. 

I end up in fetal position crying over a child's messy room.
Feeling scared sitting at the park because other women are there but not Cassie.

So I grab some, I reach hard.

And I keep moving the feet. Keep pushing.

This is non sense.

There are two scriptures that God keeps feeding into my heart.

Bring light to the darkness
&
It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, 
the Counselor 
will not come to you; but if I go,  I will send him to you. John 16:7





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