Friday, October 12, 2012

A Little Friday Heart Pouring

Slowly pieces are coming together.
Slowly I've been allowing God to really work on the ugliness in my heart.
Slowly I've realized what I've had in front of me all along.
Slowly I feel the need to not care anymore what YOU think of me.
Slowly what I care about is just JESUS ---> His love, His sacrifice, His grace, His redemption, His guidance, His...His...His...It's all HIS!

But I don't want to go slow.
I want to scream it from the rooftops.
I don't care if you don't think I'm a "real" christian, whatever the heck that means.
I don't care if you think I'm the most awkward person you have ever met {sorry Charlie, that's never going to change}

I care if you believe you are loved by Jesus.
I care if you are saved.
I care if you need prayer.
I care if you are sad.
I care if you need a hug.
I care.

I want a purpose.
A driven life.
Something I am passionate about.

But I'm still lost on what exactly that is.
Lately (within the past year) the need for community, unity, friendship is so consuming.
And so slowly God is teaching me.
Teaching me about relationships.
About myself.

Step 1 - stop lying to friends when something is bothering me. Ok, not lying to a friend seems like an obvious thing - but for me it's not. It's a work in progress.
Step 2 - reach out...trying. I get so consumer {selfish} with what's going on in my day that I sometimes, ok...a lot of times don't even think about reaching out to others
Step 3 - get involved. I have. I have recently joined the prayer team at church!!! I love to pray. But praying out loud - I'm not so smooth with.

God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called, right?!!

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