I started yearning for this "more" thing.
And over and over in my head I felt "not good enough".
It's been a battle.
I'd have days where I just hated it so much.
And than days where I was so thankful.
I know I am blessed that I do get to stay home.
I know I am blessed to be able to spend so much time with my children.
But this is my struggle. Chaos.
I hate it.
I don't like the mess.
I feel like it's always a mess.
The mess makes me feel like a terrible stay at home.
I can't seem to relax
And just let it be.
But then I was reminded by a friend.
THIS. This that I have grown to resent.
This where I felt not good enough.
This is my ministry.
I forgot about that part.
I forgot that serving Douglas, Olivia, Alex, and Addison is my ministry.
I forgot that yes in fact
I AM IMPORTANT.
What I do does, in fact, matter.
That these littles
And this man
They deserve my all. They deserve my service. My heart. I don't want to call this my "work" but it is.
Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the LORD, not men, because you know that the LORD will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether slave or free. --Ephesians 6:7-8
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the LORD not for men. --Colossians 3:23
Praying for renewed joy for this ministry I've been blessed to be working in.