Thursday, August 29, 2013

Not just a twin mom

From the time I was (3 weeks before) 21 I have been a twin mommy. I have never had the life of just one baby/toddler/kid. Because of this I have put pretty much all a lot of who I am, my worth in being a twin mom. Except I didn't really realize that until this past week. They are big ole first graders now, which means full day school. Originally I thought things like "now I have no excuses not to exercise", "look how much one on one time I'll be soaking up with Addison" and "I am going to get so much cleaning done"

....Only to find out. Something was wrong. I felt depressed and off. Things just didn't feel right. And when Alex & Liv got home I would feel just frustrated. This doesn't make sense. 

But it hit me --- I have put so much of my worth in who I am in being a twin mom. Because being a mom is a lot of work, being a twin mom {IS THE BEST THING EVER} is double the work. I put too much into that. Even when they were babies/toddlers I had no desire to go out. I wanted to be with them ALL.THE.TIME. I took them everywhere with me. 


Honestly when I tweeted this yesterday, I didn't realize what was going on, the words just came out of my fingertips. Sometimes that's just how I process things, I don't always know what's going on until the words flow out. Sometimes the flow is like honey to my heart and sometimes the things that come out of my mouth are like knives to someone else. 

These words. They made sense.

My friend Kait said I should make a list of things that bring me joy. Well 1,000 gifts, duh!! For my birthday, another friend, Cassie (which I can't link too, because she has yet to get on the blogging bandwagon) a coffee journal and I had decided to use that as my 1,000 gifts journal. It will be put to good use. 

So right now I'm trying to figure out this season. A season with one toddler throughout the day. Allowing life to be calmer. Read more. Pray more. Take more walks. Possibly join a MOPS group again. 



And He said to me "My grace is sufficient for you...."

2 comments:

  1. It's amazing how we can put our identity in things and not even realize it! It's so beautiful how the Lord will kindly bring it to our attention, to set us free!

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  2. i love this... because i started realizing i was putting my identity and joy in temporal things too.. my identity being wrapped up in the craziness these kids make my life.. its a joke around here, it's "who i am" isnt it? no not really. But God start showing me my true identity is in who he says I am...

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