This is how I want you to see me. Looking about 20 pounds (or more) less than I actually do, a filter photo to make my freckles look great, my hair flawless.
But in reality this is me
There are enemies all around us
Seeking to destroy us
They come to tear our hearts apart
And take away our joy.
Some are just plain bothersome,
Some invoke great fear.
But non are near as devastating
As the enemy in the mirror.
The evolution of this post is something only God could create.
It's been going on for weeks.
"People at this conference are not going to recognize you"
"You pretend you're smaller than you are"
"You are obese --- you are less than all the others"
I have had this fear of meeting people and seeing the looks on their faces of
"Oh wow, you are really huge"
I kept feeling the need to do a more "real me" photo. And then more fear. And then fear upon fear. Oh...what a mess.
Then today I wrote on Nadie's blog about the conversation in my mirror yesterday & decided I had to do a post explaining that I am actually much bigger than I share.
And then the She Reads Truth devotional today and the big message being YOU ARE GREATLY LOVED.
To the finding of this book after story time at the library
This book has been speaking life into me today. This book addresses all the crap. The crazy thoughts, oh those crazy thoughts The never ending cycle of up and down.
And here it is.
Yes I'm a big girl. I wear a size 14
barely and long tanks are my best friends.
I got a big booty and an alien attached to where abs apparently are suppose to be.
My heart and these weight/body issues are all a mess.
But God is preparing a break through I've been feeling it for awhile but feeling lost as to where God is directing me.