I was missing out. Like hardcore, zoned out. I have selective hearing, I'm honest about it. When life gets too much it's just been habit for me to get on my phone and tune my people out. Tune out their wants, needs, silliness, heartbreak, loudness, singing.....all of it. I was missing cuddle times, and tender heart to hearts with my bigs, I was missing when teen really needed my full attention & that the toddlers would be less crazy when I was more engaged. I was missing real conversations with my husband.
I wasn't any less busy. Yes I stepped away from tweeting for Thrive Moms & the prayer team (I'm back to the latter) and I stopped posting pictures and 140 character thoughts, but my life wasn't less busy. There were still times of waiting, appointments to drive to, children's game, evenings of falling totally exhausted into bed, hurts & pains to tend to, endless laundry and dishes to do. My life, during this time, will always be busy. Stepping away from social media doesn't make it less busy.
I missed the community. I missed posting a quick I need prayers & knowing that "my" people would be there, be it the foster care community, the influence community, Thrive Moms community or my friends and family.
I had to say somethings are good, the internet can be so good, we all know it's full of yuck, but you can find the good when you weed out (delete people) the yuck. But I don't need to be part of it all, so I deleted my twitter & snapchat. To be honest I wanted to delete facebook too....but family + pictures of kids. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what to do with the whole facebook thing.
I didn't get away from comparison. When I allow my heart to compare my home to some lady on instagram or my sister in law's, it's comparison either way. When I compare my messy head to an old friend on facebook or my small group leader, it's still comparison. The internet vs real life doesn't change that allowing comparison is in my heart. I allow it.
Social Media isn't going anywhere. We aren't going back in time. But learning boundaries is necessary.