Tuesday, July 14, 2015

My own fear of black women is being busted!!!

I was around eight years old. My friend was ten.
We were in express mart buying junk food. 
Because that's just what you're do when you're that age.
And then we saw this lady. She was tall, beautiful, had amazing hair & she reminded us of Lisa Lopes from TLC. We were hard core into singing waterfalls, like, all the time. 

Except it wasn't our adoration she felt we had or what she heard.
Instead she thought we were making fun of her.
She turned around pointed that finger at us and nasty words fell all out.

I was stunned. We didn't say a word.

And that changed how I felt about the black community. That day changed things for me. 

My mama taught me to love everyone, no matter what their color. And I tried. Kind of. But fear played a big role. I was afraid to talk to the black girls at school.

"And we know in all things God works for the good of those who love him...." Romans 8:28

She didn't yell at us because she was evil. She yelled at us because she had to learn to keep her guard up. To always stay protected. 

Last night I sat in a room with my small group ladies. And I was the minority. I felt so overwhelmed by God's grace. How I have gone from someone to no black friends, to being a room, praying & talking about God & I was the minority. 

Race has been such an issue lately. It's been nasty. Terrible. Terrifying. But I think it's time we all take responsibility for the hate in our own hearts. The fear in our own hearts. The unknown, the miscommunication, the lack of knowledge. 

At the end of our small group we all layed hands & prayed for each other. What got me, was on in our group, yes, a black woman, said how thankful she was for me. For me? The white girl. God has worked on my heart so much the past few years with my views on race. Because all I knew is that racism didn't make sense, but I also knew I only had white friends. 

"For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb" Psalms 139:13

He knits together our bodies. Our marriages. Our families. And our sisterhood.

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