Thursday, September 6, 2012

That Nutcracker Globe

Last week I decided it was finally time to start going through all the boxes in the basement and throughly organizing everything, you know since we've been here since May and I avoided said boxes all summer. Fall cleaning, like spring cleaning, but in my favorite season ;) I decided Thursday would be the day. I woke up feeling more sick than yesterday and less motivated but I did it anyway. Started. It's going to take me a longgggg time to finish. And yes I did need all those extra gs. 

While going through a box I found this


This may just look like a silly nutcracker globe with plenty of glitter but to me it holds such a special place in my heart. For me growing up was not easy. Many many many people had/have it way harder than I did, yet, it was a childhood unnecessary for any child. This one year in particular I became very interested in the Nutcracker. I have always loved ballet and really wanted to see The Nutcracker ballet, but it was all in dreams. I knew there was no way I would see it that year and still to this day have yet to see it. I talked about how much I wanted a nutcracker doll. Little did I know my dad, whom I only saw twice a year {divorce sucks}, was listening to me, he was actually listening to me. For Christmas I received this globe. I loved it. It meant so much to me that the dad who choose to be states away from me, always gone, someone I rarely knew was actually listening to me. That Christmas opening that box, thinking "maybe he does love me".  Not long after receiving this beautiful gift it was broken in a state of fury caused by that terrible man my mom was married to the second time. While trying to go after my brother for the millionth time he knocked this off a table in my room and it broke. I remember watching it fall not being able to catch it in time. Seeing the glass fly everywhere. It felt like my life up to that point. Shattered. In pieces. And no apologies. 

I kept hold of this. It reminded me of the devastation caused by that awful person that my mother allowed to torment our lives for way too long. 

Shortly after Doug and I got married my globe went missing. I thought it was gone forever. I cried. 

This little globe was missing. But my husband knew where it was. He sent it to a guy in Florida to fix it for me. Him doing that meant, and still does, so much to me. Those are the little-big things that make love worth all the difficult times. 

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