So this whole analog weekend that The Tiny Twig came up with went perfect. At first I was going to "try" but knew I would fail. Late Friday night I decided I wasn't just going to try, I was going to do it. But of course I could not discontinue pictures.
It was wonderful being disconnected...more on that at the end of this post.
We have been doing a series at church called 52 days, it's about Nehemiah. Yesterday was about influence. Pastor Joe talked about Jesus' life and how he came into His influence, the steps, anyone should take, especially if you want people to follow Jesus.
The video is HERE if you want to watch it.
Briefly for those who can't or don't want to watch it these were the steps Joe talked about in regards to Jesus' life:
1. Baptism --- Breath the last breathe of your old life, then have the first breath of new life (Matt 3:13)
2. Braving the wilderness --- ISOLATE. Spend time along with God. You have to be able to face yourself - see all your beauty and your many flaws
3. Facing 3 tests of influence
*Test of popularity - the idea of people liking me (Matt 4:1-4)
*Test of spectacle - the look at me factor (Matt 4:5-7)
*Test of immediatecy - getting to the point of almost ready for influence then taking a short cut; entitlement (Matt 4:8-10)
4. Find you voice
And my convictions....
A little over a year ago I was busted, as Jessi likes to call it. I will go into that a little more soon, I promise, just know that God found me exactly where He needed to, the point of needing Him more than ever. I consider that my baptism. Yes I was actually baptized under water (twice) but that busted point was the point of new life for me.
I skipped isolation.
I skipped going through the wilderness with Jesus.
I just skipped that step.
I went straight to trying to find community in my blog, twitter and others. I tried to find who I am in other people. I wanted so much for other bloggers to like me....yep, it's about to get real real right now. I compared my following/writing to seasoned bloggers and actual writers, you know people who have that writing gift, where I write for me, because I enjoy it.
And I used my voice.
So many times I should not.
I should not have been so passive aggressive, because that is a HUGE flaw of mine. HUGE.
I have terribly hurt with my words.
So I'm going back a few steps. Back to the wilderness.
What does this look like?
This looks like me still blogging, but my "internet life" will be very much lacking. Very much.
I will continue blogging and posting to twitter.
But I need that isolation.
We are getting ready to enter into foster care, I seriously need that isolation with Jesus, to prepare my heart. And to stop comparing my life to all y'all.
Which is so silly, but it happens more than I'd like to admit to.
I am so thankful to have found a wonderful community of women who strive to make much of Jesus. I told my husband yesterday I wish I would have found a community like this when Alex & Olivia were babies, because being a young twin momma was nothing short of tough.