This word has been a major taunting in our minds lately.
I started thinking upon what exactly it means to fail and more importantly failing in Jesus' eyes.
- - - -
It's a yucky, terrible word.
You know when people talk about a word or words they hate, I always thought there wasn't really a word I hate.
I now have a word I hate.
For the meaning. For what it means to a child or children. And that sometimes it just has to happen.
The past few days disruption & failure have been a major theme.
It's been hard. Very hard. Yesterday was a day spent crying and not being able to fully talk about all the swirling & head bashing my insides were doing.
I was so beyond disgusted with those close to us being so supportive & understanding. I just wanted someone to tell me I screwed up & that Jesus was disappointed in me.
No, that's not a usual response to life
But yesterday, that is exactly how I felt.
How could He not be disappointed me?
How could He not be mad at me?
By the dictionary we failed
The condition or fact of not achieving
the desired end or ends
But God's word says
"My grace is sufficient for YOU, for
My power is made perfect in weakness"
-2 Corinthians 12:9
There are two things I know
1. Doug & I made one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make
2. I can't and may never see the big picture but I know who does