Friday, October 18, 2013

Day 19 //// Dreams & Being Brave


When I was younger I wanted to be a teacher or a cosmetologist or a nanny or a vet tech...
I had big ideas.
They were always changing. And technically it has never changed. I come up with an idea and it fizzles.

One idea that never fizzled was motherhood. I was a babysitter and loved kids. Kids always had a way of making the terrible go away just by their pure joy.

And I'm here. I am living that dream. I have three beautiful babies and occasionally other children whom I didn't birth to care for.

But does that mean a new dream fizzles? For years I think about it and push it away because I can't. How in the world am I suppose to dream? I don't have time for dreaming. There are days I allow the lie that I actually don't have any dreams to fill me. But that just makes me feel even more empty.

Can a woman who is a wife, mother, foster mom, cook, cleaner, not very smart woman have a dream that involves college?
{this is not the time for you to tell me I'm smart, ok? When I say I'm not smart, what I mean is science and math are very difficult for me, always have been and I struggle}

Melody Joy says yes. Technically Jesus says yes, but let me tell you this little canvas made by Melody tells me something else. It tells me to stop feeding myself the lie. To stop putting my dream of the back burner.

All the questions of how are still burning. And I'd love to tell you I've made some big stride towards going after my dream, but the truth is I haven't. The only step I've made is admitting it's a dream.

What if dreams & bravery are itty bitty baby steps?

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