Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Motherhood + Friendship

Ewww..
Gross topic, huh? You feel me?
Enter into motherhood = enter into a season or seasons of tough times in the world of friendship.

My journey is not fun.
When I got pregnant I basically became an alien to ignore.
Once I had the twins I was "too busy" to make time for friends & in a way it's so true. I didn't have time or energy for drama and being the one to give give give.

That terrible thinking I carried around for a long time. I eventually started trying. The trying too hard to be just left with a bruised heart. 

And then she came. We had friends that moved in with us between their apartment lease & moving into their first house. I was at a point where I finally gave up. (My husband makes friends so easily and just seems to be awesome at actually keeping up with friends. I mean, he still talks to people from college. Me however always just seems to be not needed and then left out in the cold, obviously figuratively, as I have a warm home.) Fortunately for me GOD HAD BIGGER PLANS and this friend literally taught me what it means to be a friend. I have a way of lying. Yep, I lie. I have always struggled and still struggle with being honest with my feelings. And I don't know if she has special powers & just more proof of how God works in miraculous ways but she didn't let me lie & made me talk. 

That was it. That was the change in my heart. Having someone who wouldn't settle with my little lie of "I'm fine." 

That's when God really started getting to work in my heart with how friendship works. That just like marriage, it's work. But it's a beautiful work. I can say in the last year my friendship circle has blossomed. (Thank you internet, you are real!) He is still working this all out in me. I have a long way to go, but I'm going. 

I'm learning that having one best friend is not God's best for me. I'm learning that as an adult friends don't mean people the exact age as I am. I'm learning, the older I get, the more I want to be surrounded by women who speak life, who can pray for me and I can pray for them, who encourage, who aren't afraid to talk about struggles, that together as women of this world we can support & grow together.

- - - 

Do you struggle with friendships as a mother? 
What advice would you give me? 




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