Thursday, January 30, 2014

I'm a jealous wife

Sometimes you have a story. A story to share because someone needs to say "I'm not alone"
This story of mine you can either look at and say I so don't get this or you may read these words and think this is me.

I am a jealous wife. 
And it's not good.
I've grown, which is good, but I still have work to do.

"I know you were checking her out"
"You wish you were married to her instead of me"
"I know you wish I was as tiny as her/pretty as her/smart as her/sweet as her"

Right now the story for you either stops now or you keep reading because you feel so over it all.

The fearful feelings, the tightness in the shoulders, the arguments, the feeling of not good enough that consumes every thought. 

Let me tell you --- YOU are seen. God sees the brokenness, He sees the desperate thirst for something and that something is Jesus. And things CAN get better. You don't have to search through his emails and text messages. You don't have to google unknown numbers and you don't have to live in fear.

For God did not give you a spirit of fear. But a spirit of power, love and a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7

God did not give you that fear that seems to swallow you whole. That fear that whispers that he is going to leave you. The all the sudden feeling that he is definitely cheating on you is a lie.

Release it.
Release it.
Release it.

But whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him {or her} a spring of water welling up to eternal life. John 4:14

I understand sister, I understand the nagging thoughts, and the upset stomachs, the stress and the tears. I understand. I have been there. And on bad days still go there.

But God has better, much much better for us!

What I know:
I am a sinner that married a sinner.
He loves me a crazy amount.
We made a vow & we're sticking to it "even when the seas get rough"
I am loved by Jesus more than my husband and that my savior is Jesus, not my husband. 

Don't give up girl. Don't give up on yourself. Decide to release the fear to Jesus.


  1. thank you! i needed to read this. my struggle is with the internet/porn and not actual people in his life....but i can related to 100% of this. thank you for this truth!

    p.s. i love your new layout!

  2. Sister, you already know I struggle with it! I need to release it every single day, sometimes more.