I'm in a season where it is hard to abide.
I'm still trying to figure out this life with a teen thing.
And let me tell you, it's no walk in the park.
Every day I feel like I'm failing.
Yes, we have our good days & our really really good days.
But the drop always follows.
And every time the drop just blows up the bubble in my face.
We have appointments & visits & summer break happenings & birthdays & emotions.
Lots of emotions.
Some days instead of abiding in Jesus
I simply run away.
It might be into my own fears, the 90's station on Pandora or a pile of laundry.
Instead of staying with Him through it all, I run.
Couldn't tell you.
Maybe because I'm scared what He'll ask me to do.
Or I don't really believe He is walking us through this season.
The truths I know:
He loves me, even when my heart wanders.
He is with me. Waiting. Watching me run in circles, watching me try and do it on my own & once I finally throw my hands in the air, He is there to catch me.
I need my time with Jesus. I need that sweet, special, calm time. Because life is so far from calm, our home is so not calm that I need that time with Him. When I don't get that time, my words can cut like a knife & instead of speaking life into the people around me I'm speaking hurt & fear & tiredness & lots of death.
When I feel like this I'm so thankful for She Reads Truth , this ministry always seems to catch the falling me & capture my heart into a new study. No study, devotion or writer can make up for time with Jesus, but it can lead you there and that's what SRT does for me. It urges me on to that time, leads me into worship with Him.