Saturday, November 1, 2014

Thankful day 1 & national adoption month

I adore November.
Although I very much dislike the cold, I love the need to snuggle under blankets & watch movies.
I love our thankful tree that has become tradition in our home.
I love getting together with family for Thanksgiving.
And I love the change in our hearts, to focus more on the things were thankful for, being content and opening our eyes to all the blessings.

This month I'm giving myself a blogger challenge. Blog thankfulness every day. It may not always look like straight thankfulness.

Like today.
November isn't just a month of thankfulness, but it is also national adoption month.

I'm thankful for adoption.
I'm thankful that moms with empty wombs find God's hand in adoption.
I'm thankful that children are placed in families.

But I also dislike it.
When we first started this talk about adoption, I realized my adoption box was busted.
We decided to walk into foster care.
And I'm not going to be reserved about this:
IT IS HARD. Much harder than I anticipated.
Sure, there are "easier" days.
There is beauty & fun.
But there are more than a few days that I don't know how I'm going to make it another day.
Walking into foster care I thought, yep, we'll adopt this way.
And no matter how many times I as told it could be quick or take awhile, I thought for sure God would have it happen quickly.
And again, I'm reminded that life is full of ups & downs.
That my plans often don't go through as I feel they should.

There are days where I'm angry because I feel so lost with what we are doing here & what the heck we're supposed to be doing.

And the question,
is adoption even for us?

I'm thankful for adoption. But today I'm angry at it.
Because again, my adoption box is busted.

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