I Could Never Do That....

I could never do that, I'd get too attached.
Wait, are people able to do this and not get attached? Is that a thing?
NO. It's not.

At the beginning of 2014 God started doing a work in my heart. I started seeing, hearing & reading about teens aging out. I was confused at first. Why? Why was I reading these things & having a dream about fostering a teen girl. I had already scheduled a home visit to change our ages from 2-7 to 0-7. While Kristy was here Douglas got the great idea to ask if they have any children they are struggling to place. Of course, he had to ask the question. And of course the answer was a teen mom. I laughed. When she left Doug looked at me with that look. That look that I know life is about to change. I called "just to find out her info" and in my head that was it. I hung up. It took about all of FIVE minutes before I called back and said we'd like to say yes to her. Things were up and down the next 24 hours and at the last minute a family member chose to take her in (I always rejoice when I know a family member is stepping up) A few day later we got another call for a teen mom. I was ready to fight for her. It was the most overwhelming feeling. Like I was ready. I was in her corner. And I loved her. She was already placed in another foster home, this would be a disruption (her 5th placement in just over a year). I went to my brother in law and sister in law's house & waited. I got a call that they weren't going to disrupt. The next morning we got the call asking if our yes was still yes. We were ready. As ready as you can be when you say yes to something big & scary.

We said yes to a teen mom. We were 28 & 27 year old parents. Our oldest children were 7. We were not youth pastors or involved in anything having to do with teens. This was beyond new. One of those "are your crazy?" things. Yes, we were & are.

Now we prepare for them to leave. Did I get attached? I was attached before they walked into our home. When I send out texts about this upcoming change and post a status asking if people want to donate items for her as she leaves, I literally shake. My body shakes. My heart feels like it's slowly being crushed. I cry. I cry out to God. I can't do this because I got too attached. I can't. I will mourn. I will break. I will continue to cry.

And we will say yes again.