the here + now

Dear mama trying to hold it all together. To do it all. Dear mama trying to reach ridiculous standards. To the mom who is crying cleaning because you're just so overly tired. Stop. Stop it all. Take a nap, a bath, paint your toe nails, play with chalk outside, jump on the trampoline. Because those standards in our heads will always put us below the line.  I had a realization this week. I can't do it all. I will try and clean when I'm actually home. I'll work hard & seek joy. We'll make the appointments. I'll meal plan. I'll smile & sometimes crazy dance. But there are days when I'm just going to need to nap. That this house will look like a zoo has trampled through because there are SEVEN people living here. I can't do it all. I can't. It's impossible. I can't expect that every room looks immaculate.  /////This new realization will be so sad for our teen & 7 year old twins when I start pack...

Guys let me be honest. I talk very passionately about foster care & knowing God has called us here. Rainbows & sunshine. Not really. It is in our hearts. We're here. We are present.  We aren't walking away. But guys, some days it's just HARD. Bringing in children who you didn't birth. Children that you will fall in love with, knowing they just can't wait until the judge finally says "it's time to go home" Children who you have not raised. The appointments, and meetings and visits. The lack of communication. People making decisions about these children who do not live with them, do not see the need for this or that. People who make a decision & sometimes you do want to punch them in the face. And other days you're so thankful you do not have that burden. I've never been so thankful for social workers. I've also discovered. NO WAY. Would I ever want to be a social worker.  But there's...

When my twins were toddlers I remember moms freaking out about the upcoming summer. Moms not wanting their bigs home all day. Trying to figure out how they were going to end the summer with their sanity. And me in pride just couldn't understand, why. But now that my twins are older & bicker like crazy. I GET IT. But I don't want to enter into SuMmEr (yes, I just did that!) 2014 in fear or grumpiness. I want us to have a summer. You know, lots of fun. I want to seek the joy. I want us to laugh & get dirty & stay up too late & swim & play with sparklers (because I'm a wild mom like that) & dance & jump on the trampoline til I pee my pants, which isn't long &....... Where it stops my heart & makes me stressed, grumpy and fearful ----> 5 kids. FIVE. A teen, twin 7 year olds, a 3 (next month) year old and a toddler who is not quite 2 but we know how those month before 2 are. There are 10+ birthdays, all of our birthdays, but the young...

I washed the grapes, dried them and removed each and every beautiful grape from the vines & then into the growing old tupperware. The toddlers were at my ankles crying to eat them. Thankfully it was almost lunch time. They were so happy when I finally sat them in their high chairs, with the animal plates filled with said grapes, goldfish crackers, apples, cheese & raisins (yes I know...) I then took a grape and ate it. SEEDS. What? The Kroger sign said seedless. I then took the grapes from the toddlers which if you have toddlers know how that scene went. Took the cutting board out and got to work. Frustrated, I knew I could learn something here. So I prayed, God what can I learn from this? We are just like those seeded grapes. I am just like that grape. At times the sins can seem so small, so unimportant. But can be choked in the throat. My sins, I can push the "little" ones aside, because sheesh I'm not cheating on my husband or using heroine. But the truth is...

There have been a lot of posts this month on foster care, but this is the first one I'm sharing from an adult who not only was in the system but experienced foster to adopt. This story from my friend, Elisha shows pain, loss, heartache, kindness, redemption and great love. I'm so glad to share Elisha/s story with you today. - - - - -  I remember hearing someone knock on our door in the middle of the night. I was woken up by my biological mom packing a bag and crying, telling me I need to wake up. I cried and cried because I didn’t understand what was happening as I was put in a car with a stranger (who later became my social worker). My older brother who was 8 years old at the time held my hand in the car and said everything would be okay. I remember finally falling asleep and waking up to Mary, our social worker gently shaking me awake. My older brother was gone, they said he went to live in a different home but would visit soon. I walked into the home I would live in ...

I have asked my friend, Natalie, to come share about Safe Families.  My husband and I began an international adoption of twin boys when the timeline for completion was right around one years. Twelve whole months. It was to go quickly, and they would be in our home. Baby showers were generously held for us. We started thrifting some essentials. I bought way too many little boy clothes. And then we began to see the timeline grow. More delays. Another six months. All the while, our hearts were aching for these two boys to be in our home. But more than that, we realized we were aching to have children in our home. To parent children from hard places. And we realized they didn't even have to be "ours." We had all the necessities, so what should we do? I'm a social worker in the foster care system. Foster care was on our minds. But my husband's schedule as a med student and now medical resident didn't lend well to foster parent training. Or the full-time, ex...

I met Elisha through social media I would say a little over a year ago. I loved her mama heart and felt so drawn to her words. She's encouraging. And she loves her boys fiercely. She recently wrote an ebook. I've read a few ebooks lately. I love the idea of an ebook, simple ideas that don't take 400 pages to explain. Hers is just the same. She gets to the point of motherhood & offers practical tips to help you navigate this journey a little more smoothly.  "It seems being a homemaker, being a mom and staying home are job today's society doesn't know how to handle so it is laughed about and teased." You can read this ebook too by either subscribing by email on Elisha's  blog  or you can buy it for $2.99 on  Amazon